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You have two main ways around this, disable hauling for dwarves with suchg tendencies if you go through their personality traits or make sure that the items they could grab weight as little as possible.
Usually I make sure to only make stuff that could be acquired by dwarves out of bones, and preferably only bone rings instead of bone crafts that put out a whole range of things.
It won't help for dwarves that are already slowed down like that but it will help preventing it in the future at least.
set it to matching exactly and his routine to always ready. that way he will pick up new clothes, once his clothes get too old and it will tend to his need to acquire stuff.
But to be honest: I would keep him like that. sounds too funny to do anything about that xD
You never know, maybe you'll catch him strangling some kea in self defense one day.
Edit : Don't even bother with the armor, just make him do some sick wrestling moves in civvies in some dug pit and you're good.
A scepter has a volume (size) of 3000.
A granite scepter would weight: 2600 * 3000 / 1,000,000 = 7.8
If made from bones: 500 * 3000 / 1,000,000 = 1.5
And from copper: 8930 * 3000 / 1,000,000 = 26.79
So the material would have a rather big impact, 20 scepters made of copper or even heavier materials would probably slow down even pretty strong dwarves.
I'd think there would be at least a none-zero chance they might even put them away if they have room storage and you unforbidden them afterwards.
Haven't tried that one specifically, or the general function recently, but I used to forbid items to get stubborn militia dwarves to drop equipment.