Whats the funniest thing that youve seen happen in this game?

[pluribax]

I pretty much bought this game for the humor. The detailed descriptions that people give of the stuff in this game are pretty funny. What's your favorite story of this game?

[[GRVTS]Fat Bastard]

Well... I've had a perpetually angry hunter living in my fort since the very start. For 4 ingame years she's gotten increasingly more depressed and bitter, this dwarf hasn't felt happy in ages. She wants to spend time with family, but she has none. It's funny in a morbid way.

The only dwarf among a hundred who has never felt happy for one moment in her life.

She's the only dwarf I've bothered giving a door and some nice furniture for her bedroom.

I also had a good laugh when a dwarven baby was born with a long fully braided beard. His description said he had golden eyes, so I'm looking forward to him growing up. This little guy is gonna have a great destiny.

[The Former]

I just had two elves and two dwarves, all naked, come to entertain at my tavern.

[Deadweight]

depressed werebeast, too sad to kill anyone on full moons. would walk right by people in halls.

[TFTEnthusiast]

I've also had a perpetually grumpy dwarf, only he was a fisherman. I think it's the rain that gets them. Naked tavern entertainers are also common for some reason.

But my favorite had to be reclaiming a fort that fell during worldgen. I set up my embark with nothing but warriors and gear with the simple objective to clear out any threats so the new migrants can get to work when they came the next season. The place was huge; stockpiles full of steel and iron equipment, several artifacts, finished goods and clothing everywhere, dozens of workshops, about a hundred or so bedrooms, and a dozen common rooms. The main stairway was instead a ramped spiral decorated with statues every few floors. It was what you could expect from a late game fortress, and I found out why the fortress fell. Those dwarfs did not stand a chance, absolutely ripped apart by a single clown. The first spear dwarf lined up to take a stab, missed, got grappled, his arm bitten into then ripped off with the forearm sailing off in a bloody arc. He was then thrown into a wall which broke many bones in his body. His torso was ripped open after that, the iron breastplate didn't slow it down in the slightest. The rest of the dwarfs suffered similar fates: either torn limb from limb, head kicked in and exploded, gored by horns, bisected, or simply mangled. They couldn't even make a single scratch on it. I found it funny just how badly outmatched they were after the fact, like watching a train wreck. Honestly think this game would benefit from a dungeon keeper sound effect mod.
Maybe cheat some more embark points and dwarfs and send in a competent group next time.

[DragDenDFO]

I have a bird problem in my fort - the giant ravens, lovebirds and parrots spawn pretty much constantly.
One marksdwarf shot one of the birds and it fell down on the ground. The dwarf then ran to it and started bashing it on the head with his wooden crossbow. Over, and over, again. He passed out from exhaustion, then stood up, and continued.
Here's the battle log, at the moment when he started beating the bird. Just look at the scrollbar position :D
https://imgur.com/a/Z0f40HB

I had to call my mellee military simply to end the poor bird's misery...

[Emily Mewens]

A giant raven decided my freshly started fortress didnt need to exist, and personally killed every dwarf i had.
I literally spent like 30 minutes in set up, and then we all heard 'Nevermore' and died.

EDIT:
As a note, this was the most anti-elven fortress i was making. It was literally in the middle of 3 elven civilizations, and i decided it was brilliant to call it Felltree, and the group Tree Slayers or something like that. Even the symbol was literally a dwarf laughing maniacly as they burned a tree as it screamed.
Mother nature said 'Uh no. id like to see your manager. Now.'

[[GRVTS]Fat Bastard]

Originally posted by DragDenDFO:

I have a bird problem in my fort - the giant ravens, lovebirds and parrots spawn pretty much constantly.
One marksdwarf shot one of the birds and it fell down on the ground. The dwarf then ran to it and started bashing it on the head with his wooden crossbow. Over, and over, again. He passed out from exhaustion, then stood up, and continued.
Here's the battle log, at the moment when he started beating the bird. Just look at the scrollbar position :D
https://imgur.com/a/Z0f40HB

I had to call my mellee military simply to end the poor bird's misery...

Hey that man is a hero! Let him have his fun.

I've had hit squads of agitated giant bushtits target my forts children.

[definitive_prankster]

I started another fortress on my laptop to test how well it ran, so I perhaps didn’t pay the attention I should have to the starting place,

Literally 30 seconds in I notice a lot of blood by the river and I only have 6 dwarves. I go to the log and my fisherdwarf is missing following combat with a crocogator (I forget which it was).

Another 30 seconds pass and I get combat notifications, a couple of dogs and a few dwarves are attacking the crocogator. I scroll over and the crocogator is down! Revenge has been served!

Then I saw 6 crocogators on their way over...

TPK within 5 minutes of striking the earth 😂

[sophistry]

I was building a fortress in an active volcano and had built a workshop for magma-powered forges, which require magma to flow under them to power them (it used to be under a specific square of the workshop). Under the workshop floor, I channeled tunnels right up to the wall of the caldera, which the lava would flow through once we broke the last block.

My mining dwarf (named after a friend of mine, like ya do) was finally tasked with going to break out that block, which would let the lava spill into the tunnel -- obviously a very dangerous job with a high risk of being incinerated if he didn't run away fast enough. I watched him break the block and take off running up the tunnel, popping out through one of the holes in the workshops, and I thought he'd made it unscathed...but then smoke erupted in the workshop, and I lost sight of him. When the smoke cleared, all that was left was a pile of his equipment on the workshop floor. (I strongly suspect that the dwarf's fat layer ignited and incinerated him, but was prevented from burning the clothes by his skin?)

About a week later I get a notification in the alerts that the mining dwarf 'has been missing for a week.' And I thought that was fine -- actually probably the best outcome, because he had friends and while they might be sad about him being missing, they might be REALLY sad if he was officially dead.

Some time later, maybe a season, I start getting a bunch of alerts that my workshop dwarves are being interrupted at their labors by................the ghost of the mining dwarf. He was mad that we hadn't buried him. Nevermind that there hadn't been anything to bury!

I wasn't able to appease him. He haunted my workshop so vengefully that I had to abandon the fort.

[SkinnierSteve]

Had around 20 ish population. made a tavern with some chairs and tables, and put a large musical instrument in the middle. Quickly everyone started partying and it attracted a lot of attention. Many people, humans and even a goblin decided to petition to join the fortress as entertainers. Now There's over a 100 population. My previous colony lived well, also over 100 population, but on the 7th year a titan came and wiped them out like flies by webbing them and kicking them. Only had 3 people in the army though. I built the new fortress right next to the old one to hopefully raid the ruins of the old one someday.