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Someone tried modding the game and ended up with a wagon made of meat, trees made of fur and leather because they screwed up the raws.
Someone asked for help on the forums because they had an evil mist that had dwarves bleeding from their kidneys. Which just meant infected bloody urine everywhere because the dwarves left snail trails of the stuff while they worked. Not lethal for adult dwarves but very hard to treat, quarantine and clean up. I don't think they ever saved that fort because everyone was laughing to hard to help with the situation.
And who can forget that epic bug, "cats are vomiting all over my tavern and I don't know why"
From DFStories, this 2 sentence gem is one of my favorites; http://dfstories.com/buckets/
The Littlest Cheesemaker is still alive! OMG!
Everyone was miserable. People were fighting in the corridors and it took me ages to figure out why. Mainly because I had to learn to read what people were thinking.
Children were going missing. All over the bloody place. Just disappearing.
Parents were going crazy. The tension was high. I was loosing just as many adult dwarves to fits of random violence due to the tension.
So I watched those kids. I watched them like hawks. And finally I figured it out...
I had a pedo vampire mayor!
Yup. He was luring the kids to his room. Ripping open their throats and storing the remains in his chest!
No word of a lie. No imagination. This game is ruthless.
I was ecstatic!
The local Goblin tribe raided. They came prepared to wipe me. But they got to my moat and they couldn't figure out how to get over the moat!
It was glorious.
They left in frustration after a while and life in my fort went back to peacefulness as I tried to figure out the next challenge.
The next year they returned.
I raised the draw bridge.
They flew over said draw bridge on giant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bats.
It was absolute karnage. There was body parts going everywhere (literally as the game tracks everything, even toe nails). There were children crying. Mothers in complete shock. Fathers going into violent rages. (this is all stuff that actually occurs in game).
They wiped me. And I learnt a valuable lesson.
This is not age of empires. Those mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ learnt from their errors and spent a solid year preparing to ♥♥♥♥ me up.
They won.
I was going to be a king and this was going to be the best fortress ever.
I didn't even last the winter because every single one of my farmers was female. ALL of them took two weeks off to not only create another mouth to feed but two weeks of no production meant everyone died of starvation and tantrum spirals when they couldn't feed their kids.
*headdesk*
Then the story of my brave dwarf worker who just took a walk during a siege where my dwarfs fired their crossbows at the enemy and then he said to himself: "oh look there are bolts outside, I just will open the door and bring them back to stockpile." and he walked out and then the sow all the goblins and said to him self " I will run away, but not back to the fortress I will run into the woods bcause there I will be save."
Or
This poor guy was attacked by a wereboar but he is alive let's bring him back to fortress what could go wrong.
- marksdwarf runs out of bolts, decides to run outside and beat up the goblins with her crossbow, survived thanks to the help of her war bear, they managed to kill every single green skin (there was a dozen of them once she ran out of ammo)
- legendary marksdwarf against legendary goblin crossbowman, both shooting through fortifications, both hit the other in the leg, both faint, both resume shooting everytime they wake up, often missing, marksdwarf hits the goblin in the lung eventually, killing it, and proceeds to crawl to the hospital, lost his leg and retired, with a gold statue of them in the dining hall
Start a game, put some trees to cut.
A few minutes later: "blablabla was found dead".
I check the log, a dwarf die because a tree fall
on him. Two minutes after the start. A good remember that
the game just want you to suffer. :)
I only cared about this event because the game automatically paused again a short moment later and announced that the baby had been found dead at the bottom of the same spiral ramp.
Normally a dwarf mother will manage to pick up their newborn immediately, however this spiral ramp was very narrow and was clogged with other haulers at the time. In the few game ticks it takes for a mother dwarf to normally stop and pick up her newborn, the very slow mother still hauling the heavy boulder (made slower in movement by the crowd of other haulers) failed to grab the infant, who then had randomly chosen a movement towards the edge of the spiral ramp and then fell 20 z-levels to their instant death.
It would not be the last instance, either.
Basically went downhill from the moment I butchered my first animal, my butcher was torn apart by a swarm of disembodied cow parts.
The cow hide suffocated my axe dwarf (after he'd killed it 3-4 times) and although the miners managed to put up a good fight they also had to deal with their former colonists....
- so happy he implemented pulping afterwards
People are complaining about the bugs/balance issues but the thing with his game is that the even things like that are amazing.
Remember the mighty carp? The vicious unicorn? The unstoppable killing machine that was the zombie sea sponge?
It's stuff like that which makes this game so great and creates such memorable stories
Edit: the unicorns were vicious, not viscous, that was before the material properties update