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I'm pretty sure the "free random great person" from Patronage will sometimes throw one your way. But that is based primarily upon luck and a very long waiting time. Easier just to warmonger for a while.
Bust out those pikes and crossbows, and spill some blood!
Seriously though, what turn is it, which Civ are you trying to keep friendly relations with, and do you have random personalities turned on? The AI is very simple and predictable in that when it wants to flex its borders, it goes to the nearest cities. Could very well be you won't be able to keep good relations without force anyway.
Also, I've never heard anything about settling cities on an owned tile bypassing the AI check for diplomacy. One way or the other. But I could be totally wrong, are you sure owning the coastline would let you place the city without a diplo hit?
If you are planning on war, you should either try and avoid that screen by keeping your invasion force a few tiles back, or just select the war option. Diplo hit isn't worth it.