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Best way to do so is to ally Rome from the start and be the one declaring wars on any nation in Cisalpin Gaul and Etruscan with Rome as an ally without giving it any land. It's best if Rome doesn't start its own wars. At one point Rome will break the alliance and you'll have the upper hand to beat it.
Now, on your case, just ally as much nations as you can, hire mercenaries and attack Rome at 10 VS 1 or more. Political influence doesn't matter much if your goal is to survive Rome.
You can try to keep your relations above 100 and Rome will never attack you. But it probably won't last, especially if you have high expansive aggression at one point.
Perhaps going deep into cultural assimilation, or just outright as much trade and income tech as possible?
You should aim for fast assimilation in pretty much all playthrough where you intend to play until late and conquer a lot. You'll get the best happiness yield and a forever growing army.
Don't overlook the religious tree, there're plenty of great bonuses. The military tree is nice either for sieging or to improve your food supply limit. The oratory tree is good for conquest and character loyalty.
How does one assimilate fast? I noticed one tree which was very far down the oratory(or civic?) tree, far on the right, and required some 10+ tech to reach for a 10% boost.
Building a temple in the cities can help too, since it speeds up the religious conversion wich makes the cultural assimilation faster too (pops that already have your religion assimilate faster then those of a different one).
Also there is an assimilation law that needs a tech to be unlocked getting that is pretty usefull too.