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And no family prestige isnt a flat bonus to the powerbase
https://imperator.paradoxwikis.com/Characters#Power_base
So they get a bonus to powerbase depending on how much of the total family prestige of all great families theirs controls.
The problem is ONE family having too much prestige in comparison to the others since that gives that family head a lot of powerbase.
So what you should do is actually boost the other families prestige and try to keep them somewhat balanced.
(the same goes for the holdings, but usually there its only a real problem for small realms since they tend to equal out in bigger ones somewhat anyway)
Its actually a very good representation of ancient romes system, the republic worked as long as the central senatorial families (the ones that actually had enough standing to regularly have consuls from their ranks) were kinda balanced. The problems for the republican system started when single individuals (Marius, Sulla, Pompeji, Cesar etc..) got too far ahead in power over the rest of the senate.
If you play republic I usually turn the strong family around for like say yellow family holding the 8 advicors positions, then after election I go for the family that contain the color of my spouse (as it gets all family member +10 opinion) those all 8 positions advisors (lmportant to get the satisfyed family boost of +20) and work my four positions friends.
Herefore I always calm out any warnings of civil war.
One more important aspect towards civil war is the tyranny level.
Never change from tribal to republic/monarchy before lowered the tyranny below like 5.
othervice the civil war is like mail in the box.
hope this helped.
So make sure you keep the families kinda balanced. The ruling family will usually not really increase the holding number by themselves, in a republic if the ruling family changes often enough that usually isn't much of a problem (can be if one family clings to rule for too long), in monarchies you usually want to add a holding to the royal family every now and then (costs money and more importantly in later game: corruption, so its better not to overdo it and give the corruption time to go away before grabbing the next holding).
The skill for gov office is also dependent on the experience, so a 6 skilled martial is late in aged better than a 20 yo 9 martial skilled.
I train them sometimes for scientists if I need the boost for expecially important position.
But mostly I have scientists that I recruited from another country with another culture and religion (so their opinion does not reach even 90).
Also I found out you can just completely eliminate a troublesome family by removing all their characters.
there you find the cencor gets 0,10 monthly prestige while other offices gets the 0,05 prestige points.
under the submenu go to 4.2 family prestige;
Head of family gets +1,2 Power Base
The only thing when I play is to hold the head of each family over 40 by either the stipends, make friend option, or when threatened with civil was (almost almost only then) with bribes.
Bribe takes 5 PI and gets your leader a punishment of +1 corruption (that fast add up to the lowering of total montly political influence).
if there are any potential good aire I always go for the super character trait of "silver tounge" that get instead of bribe the persuade option (+15 opinion without the PI straff).
hope these helps and gets you thinking.