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There are many questions that need to be answered. For example, when you made your account, did you go on the EVE website and make one with an account name/password, or simply downloaded the game here?
What do you see when you open EVE on Steam? Do you see an account listed that looks something like "STEAM::########" or are there no accounts listed at all? Any purchase you made on Steam for EVE should have gone to the single account written out in that format. If you can log into that account, then there's a chance that your items will still be there.
What did you buy? If it was subscription time, then that might be gone, since that starts ticking down immediately.
It's completely safe to provide your e-mail address for EVE. They don't send any spam aside from the occasional event newsletter. If you're still afraid, create a new e-mail account or a "temporary inbox" that some providers like yahoo allow you to make, though do note that without an e-mail address account recovery in the future can become difficult or even impossible.
After so much time, manual recovery by you isn't guaranteed, since like I said, the system has undergone many iterations. However, once your account is up and running, you can go into your Steam purchase history and find out what you bought. Then you can contact EVE support and explain your situation, asking them to manually inject the digital items you bought in 2012. If you're polite and patient, it should lead to positive results, as they're going to try to accommodate you since they want more players.
Main thing is I refuse to make another email just to verify. You say "oh it's easy just make a burner" the point is I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. IT WAS WORKING FINE UNTIL THEY DECIDED THAT IT WASN'T.
The EVE-to-Steam connection gets wonky sometimes. I don't play using the Steam EVE launcher, so it's difficult for me to give perfect advice here, but from what I remember, e-mail verification became a necessary step at some point over the past few years. Keep in mind that this is a subscription-based MMO that's primarily based off-Steam, so account management without an e-mail address is very difficult, making this a reasonable requirement.
An example for how a user fixed their issue that was similar to yours can be seen here:
https://steamcommunity.com/app/8500/discussions/2/3069747783684571609/
I believe that your items should still be there when you finally do log in, though as I've said before, the subscription time would be expired (though CCP should be able to restore it, since you never made use of it). Likewise they will be able to restore any items you're missing if they're not already inside your account.
If you're absolutely dead-set against providing an e-mail address to fix the login issue, then I don't envision you getting any sort of refund, because it's been 10 years, and Steam isn't obligated to refund you after such a time period according to their rules. And yes, this would be Steam policy specifically and not EVE policy, as the transaction was made here, and CCP wouldn't be able to push a refund through their end, since they don't have the ability to do so. Only Valve can do it, and after 10 years, they won't.
Can you tell me what it was that you bought?
This is my main concern. The only reason I bring up MY BUYING A KEY prior to it being F2P is that it is ridiculous to now demand e-mail verification WHEN I HAVE A KEY I BOUGHT ON STEAM.
If you want to recover your items if they're not in the redeeming queue when you log in, you'll have to make an EVE support account, and that will require an e-mail anyway.
Sorry, I don't know how to help you past this point. Lots of other games on Steam, and pretty much every MMO, require off-Steam user accounts that use an e-mail address. EVE is an off-Steam MMO that uses Steam as one of its storefronts, so it wouldn't be any different in that regard. I personally don't view EVE asking for an e-mail address as a problem, so I can't relate to your extreme negative feelings toward it.
If available troubleshooting steps don't allow you to log in again, and you aren't willing to try providing an e-mail address as an additional troubleshooting step, you might have to give up on playing EVE on Steam entirely. I doubt Valve will give you a refund, as over a decade has passed since the purchase date, but you can still try that option if you want.