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You are however able to use Steam Remote Play (which is pretty much a screen sharing app) to "play online". The way it works is that the host (player 1) streams their game view to player 2 and the player 2 transmits their control inputs to player 1.
Between the time it takes to implement a second entity player and all the logic to back it up, the fact the devs didn't need to do it, the fact it lets you and a friend play with only one copy, and that you can do near real time screen sharing on Steam's part is astounding.
But yea 'meh'... Why does anyone make games when the customer base is this ignorant and entitled.