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You shouldn't start over because consumables aren't really a huge deal for the most part. You'll be swimming in them as you get through the game. There's other places to go if you get stuck there. Progressing a little elsewhere can help you return to the fight with renewed confidence and a few upgrades. Remember also that it doesn't matter how much you die at all. Dragonrot is basically just story fluff.
If in the air her red is a grab attack so you need to dodge out of the way.
Her ground red is a sweep attacked so you need to jump.
While jumping you can jump again onto enemies head this deal very low vitality damage but very good posture damage IF used as a counter to a sweep attack.
Some combat arts like high monk are extremely anti sweep so you can time them those combat arts too and replace jumping.
While enemy is in the air a shuriken can be used to knock down this will deal extra vitality and posture damage and usually allows a few"free" hits in.
You can also try to kill the horse boss(first mandatory boss) and upgrade some of your stuff before trying Lady butterfly as he is easier.
Killing horse boss and upgrading health twice is not that hard.
You can do the rat side quest and buy some Ashina passives+find a few more"estus flasks".
One more point, when Sekiro attacks, each attack has a short sequence of animation. While in this animation, any key you press will be added to the "action queue". So, to be successful in the game, DO NOT mesh the attack buttons!!! Hope these help. Good luck and have fun :)
PS Sorry, I forgot to explain the consequence of meshing the attack button. Since there is a short sequence of animation for each Sekiro attack, if you press another attack button during this time, it will be "queued" up. If you press the attack button after the animation finished, another attack will be executed. However, if you tab the block button as if you change your mind not to attack but defend, Sekiro will totally abort the 2nd attack command you have issued and change to defense. This caught a lot and lots of players hence the tremendous amount of complaints after the game was released.
The key to success in the game is perfect parry and attack with a deliberate rhythm. NEVER mesh the attack button. Attack with a deliberate rhythm will result in quick fight against Lady Butterfly and the fight against Genichiro at top of Ashina Castle. Some players called this rhythm attack a cheesing method. But it really is not. As it takes lot of practice and a cool mind.
You can practice different moves with an NPC in the dilapidated temple where you started after the tutorial; while exiting the temple, go up the slope to your right and fight/talk with the samurai there, he should have training routines for several mechanics, though you might have to do his basics first,m not sure.
Also, the game is somewhat linear, but if you are fighting Lady Butterfly, you have already left the main line of progression. You think taking a bell to a budha statue and going into a memory is the only way to progress? I don't know how far along you've gotten, but if I had to guess, you got to a broken bridge and didn't see that you could climb down the ravine next to it.
Still a good mindset to have. Skill is the only thing that will get you to the end at this game, and practicing gets you more skillful.