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Are you playing on a TV? If so and it has any form of post-processing for the image (most newer ones do) make sure it's set to game mode or you'll get significant input lag.
Also, deflect becomes a block (or a complete miss) if you misstime your deflect or if you just spam deflect, so it is not a matter of siamming (and if you keep the button pressed for much more than a tick it will automatically become a block).
The thing is, pay attention to the start of the attack and the moment the hit land on you.
If you want to test it use block and pay attention to the sounds and visual cues.
Also worth noting that spamming deflects reduces the timing window, so try to be deliberate with the L1 presses. You can try deflecting out of and into block as this will help you with posture management and you will block even if you mistime the deflect.
The one exception to this would be for attacks that hit rapidly. Some (though not all) have very tiny windows for deflecting certain parts of them, with one I think requiring frame-perfect timing for one of the hits.
Attacks with a red symbol sould not be deflected. It works but the window for that is quite small.
They should be jumped (sweep) or mikiri countered (thrust), or sometimes dodged (grab).
The deflect wiondow for all usuall attack ist pretty generous tbh.
Confront boss memorys
As Sokurah said, you have to defeat bosses and "Confront the memory" at a shrine to increase your attack power. Similarly, to increase your health you get Prayer Beads (usually by defeating a mini boss) and use four of them at a shrine to increase your health