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I'm also tryingto keep this as short as possible - but I'm sure it won't be easy.
1.) No, the devs tried to make a fun experience for both SP and MP in the 90s/00s.
While online gaming wasn't as big as it is today due to horrendous prices, LAN parties were big and AoE 1 and 2 were hits among other games like Counter Strike. The AI in those games tries to make up for missing a human player and also to challenge you to beat it, hence, making it a training partner for MP. Some also have fond memories of playing Age vs their parents or siblings. This didn't stop tournaments from happening.
The "screaming minority" is actually the diehard SP only players as the "major" part of AoE 2's players nowadays is mostly focused on SP but occasionally plays casual MP games with or against friends (+ AI).
I know from myself that there's some kind of mindset where you feel secure playing a shooter in MP whereas you feel intemidated by only thinking about playing an RTS online vs randoms. I tackled this fear two years ago and I'm so glad to have been wrong about this mindset.
It's pretty much even between memorable SP games (such as the ones Sony released with God of War and Last of Us) and memorable MP games (like Battlefield 3 and 4 which are still seen as the best modern BF games).
2.) Campaigns alone do not keep a game alive. While they're a good driving force of attracting players to a game, playing them alone over and over again is not what keeps players into the game. When Forgotten Empires released their mod in December 2012, it featured a couple of campaigns as well as new civs but guess what what most players were doing? Playing the MP part of it, which helped FE in convincing Microsoft to include their mod as a DLC for HD Edition. The rest is history as they'd say.
AoE 2's campaigns have memorable moments (e.g. the entire narration in William Wallace, La Hire in Joan of Arc) but they weren't as "cool" as the ones from C&C for example that were all about FMV cutscenes. If there's a game actually known for its campaigns, it's C&C. It's also known for its notorious bad AI which is why it isn't played as much in MP as AoE is and look how small the player numbers in C&C Remastered are vs AoE 2 DE.
You surely haven't heard of Vietnam then where AoE 1 is literally national sport due to the game being available on every PC and AoE 1's players attracting millions of viewers and fans on their Facebook pages where AoE 1's competitive scene mostly takes place. It's actually quite interesting how they refuse to play 1 DE and tournaments still taking place on Rise of Rome instead - I guess the upcoming AoE 2 DLC tries to migrate them to Age 2. Here's an article about that, so you have at least read about it.[www.fanbyte.com]
In case of AoE 2, the currently ongoing Nations Cup with over 1000 sign ups across several national teams shows, how active MP actually is. All it needs is just you leaving your bubble. :)
3.) Regarding "keyboard smasher" (lol): I've included a graph in my OG comment to you that shows the correlation between Elo and the effective Action per Minute. It shows nicely that even as a player at 2k Elo, you still can be as slow as 20 eAPM, which comes from using little to no hotkeys, being a slow player, or just using the mouse. Dave - one of AoE 2's prominent figures - has a 2nd account where he plays with a controller[www.aoe2insights.com] so the eAPM naturally won't be high and still he manages to be in the 14xx Elo region which is where the top 12 % of the ranked ladder sits. You could say the became more competent to play like the average player.
T90 has an ongoing series called "Low Elo Legends" that already encouraged players with a similar mindset like you (and me two yrs ago) to give MP a try as it shows that it's not only about keyboard smashing and getting those high APM. Feel free to check it out.
4.) It's actually one source (the video why the next RTS might fail), I've seen the section and tbh, it just says that MP and SP are both important for a game, which is why AoE 4 is underperforming atm, due to the campaigns not really being fun and the last couple of changes solely being focused on MP.
I on the other hand gave couple of sources and examples of how the different figures (AoE's concurrent player base + the total number of ranked players) show that MP is definitely at least 50 % of the game which you seem to ignore.
5.) This may sound arrogant and I'm hating myself for saying that, but in fact, you do rely on horror stories on why you hate the MP crowd so much and this very paragraph prooves it.
In my ~300 ranked games since I started two years ago, I've encountered really toxic players in just 5-10 for them which is a very good quota for a game with MP and just shows that the AoE 2 community is mature. Those toxic guys were crying when I literally played better than them which just made me giggle. And as you said, you "believe" it as you are just relying on stories instead of having your own experience in that regard.
I'm just trying to expose these horror stories about the evil multiplayer as such and encourage players to at least give MP a try, even if it's just in a casual setting with their friends. :)
While it indeed sounds rude of them and I don't get it either why BBTs just deal 1 damage against rams whereas they e.g. fixed an issue from HD to DE where destroyed trebuchets just dealt 1 damage, I'm pretty sure they said that because currently, AoE 2 encourages all types of play - from rushing to turtling + booming. I'm sorry that you had this particular experience.
6.) Yes because the question(s) asked in those threads are about SP and campaigns, hence it makes sense that "no one there cares about multiplayer" in this particular case.
For MP/Skirmish focused threads, you also find people keeping it civil and not caring for SP in that regard as the question was focused on MP. And you find helpful people looking over your replays and give you tips on what you could've done better.
TL;DR - a good RTS needs both SP and MP because if it's focused on just one aspect, it underperforms - see AoE 4 (or 3 which only has brought some new Historic Battles).
Definitive Edition's extreme AI owned by a palisade: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2945305219
Back when I played the CD version, I could beat hard AIs consistently and hardest occasionally. When HD came out, I hadn't played for several years and I'd forgotten basically everything. Standard was too easy, moderate stomped all over me. I had to learn how to play against each difficulty all over again.
Now in HD, the behaviours of the different difficulties requires different play styles, and learning those is hard when you get stomped on before you've figured out what's happening.
Moderate isn't just a better, faster version of standard. Moderate tends to build a big army and roll it to your base, smashing you in one go. Hard constantly pours units towards you to wear you down. Hardest doesn't rush but goes for a strong castle age. Extreme is supposed to play like a human player, using all the tactics people like me can't be bothered to learn.
However,
Taking the arguements above at face value,
Are SPs justified in feeling left out by dev's?
I'd say yes, its a fair assertion: there are regular changes that "fix" balance or map pool. Is an investment of dev effort that dont benefit them much. And very little if any content that add to thier experience, Unless its in a paid DLC.
SP requests amount to deeper immersion; skinning and building sets, thematic unit additions, variation in AI scripting.
Using recent examples, Theres no reason that a houfnices attack radius can be modified but the huns cant have steppe lancers in SP
Don't get me wrong - SP with campaigns and such is great and fine but the most visible aspect of a game remains its multiplayer and as mentioned earlier, ppl have fond memories of playing Age vs or with their siblings and/or parents. So if they see that people still play this old game regulary online, it attracts them to eventually buying it and reliving their childhood memories.
While I only started playing MP "seriously" with DE, I remember looking for ways to play Age 2 online and came across platforms like GameRanger, Gamespy and Voobly back in 2012/13.
I'd say unit/building skins isn't a SP only request as many players want to have more culture/regional skins, especially after AoE 4's release :) Civ unique castles is also a regular request.