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We also had to kick some random players out of a 3 people lobby because one of our former players had to restart the game, the PC or crashed out. We wanted him to specificely join again and no one else. But we all were just random players, so the lobby was public from the beginning. And changing it to private afterwards is not possible, nor would I like to add everyone to my Steam list just to make private lobbies and share the code.
Most of the time I will tell the other in a short sentence why we kick him, but if it takes some time, you get annoyed after kicking the 10th or more person. You begin to just kick em quickly and wait or the person intended to join again.
Until DKnighter figures out a way to make a better lobby control(reserving slots for friends and changing public lobbies into private lobbies), nothing will change, and you're better just learning to ignore that.
They won't keep items what you bought, but they can use it in game.
They just don't want to lose items when they die so that's why they want random paying for items.