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Do this,
ask your friend to join a matchmaking. Ask him to type "status" on console.
Get the server IP address.
Then go to Start->cmd
type Tracert "the ip address, without port"
You will see how you get routed. If you are in NYC like me.
You will have bad ms/ping on one of the steam server/box hop on peak time.
If you try again at 1am/2am you will ping fine and able to find match.
How do I know the server pinging bad belong to steam?
google whois and put the IP there. It is steam.
I think Steam could not handle the growing number of people that are playing.
add me on friend list if you need more info.
dont bother calling steam, they do not do phone support (got the phone number from whois) your best option is to let them be aware of the problem. (eg: copy paste your tracert result and point out the IP that causing high latency)
open a support ticket.