mods not working in multiplayer

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so not sure if anyone els is having this issue, but me and my friend cant join each other in modded private games, says were both the wrong version but when we look at our versions in the beginning we both confirm we have the same version running, no matter what though it always says either one of us are on an older version no matter who starts the lobby. it also says anyone els we could possibly join has the wrong version to. i see other private server with more then 2 people in them so im no sure whats happening, we have both reinstalled the game, reinstalled the mod loader, deleted the mod loader file from the directory no matter what we cant join each other. we can without mods but the second the mod loader is in the picture it says we have the wrong version and thats its downloading pack to join server but then nothing ever happens. we have both verified integrity, and unsubbed and resubbed to all out mods and still nothing, this seems to be something new sense we had no issue with it back when we first started using mods, we took a break from the game but upon the release of the A10 mod we really wanted to play again. someone please help, ive tried everything...

[Kit]

Check if one you opted in for public test. Though, vanilla wouldn't work if that was the case.

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Originally posted by Kit:

Check if one you opted in for public test. Though, vanilla wouldn't work if that was the case.

both of our games are set to none in "betas"

this is so frustrating, i cant find anything similar to this problem online anywhere nor have i found anyone in the discussions voicing the same issue. its so weird that we can join each other unmodded but when we use mods all the sudden we dont have the right version even after full fresh re-installs of everything even the mods themselves.

i just wanna play the with f16 and a10 mod with my friends.

[Kit]

You can try official discord, it's much more alive than here