Favorite Silly And/Or Stupid Bits of Lore from Warhammer Lore (Suppose 40K is fine too)

[A_COOC]

Whether they're humorous, plain stupid, or actually kind of cool if you don't look into it too much. Or perhaps some combination of the bunch. I'll go first as is customary with these threads.

The White Lions of Chrace are and have been the bodyguards of the Phoenix King since Caldor the First.(named Imrik before he took up the title) They came into creation after Caldor first heard he was to be crowned while he was hunting in Chrace. Until suddenly a group of Dark Elve Assassins appeared from ambush and attempted to end his life... When even more suddenly a group of Chracian lumberjacks sprung fourth from the forest and cut down the assassins and further protect Caldor on his way to the shrine of Asuryan. By as officially described 'Employing every iota of their woodcraft to avoid further Dark Elf ambushes on his path.' Which the only thing I can picture is them leveling every tree in a mile radius that just so happen to fall on tunnel-visoning Shades and assassins. Or maybe they were too scared to face the workers union without the shade of trees to conceal them. But anyway they make it and Caldor is so impressed with them he makes them his personal bodyguard once he is crowned. Which is why the White Lions to this day still use great axes based of the design of axes used by the lumberjacks of Chrace. Even when offered the choice of a new ceremonial weapon as has been done by multiple Phoenix Kings. Since the axe is not a typical Elven weapon of choice.

A cool and unique story definitely, but doesn't feel like a terriblely realistic one, even within the realms of a Fantasy universe.

[[L9] Rhinopotamus]

2. The Moot only exists because an Emporer didn't like Averland and Stirland and so he took land from them and gave them to the halflings after his court jester, a halfling, told him it'd be funny if he did that... he then named the jester the Elector of the Moot, putting him on equal footing with the Elector Counts.

1. The slaughter of the halflings by Averland sometime later. So hilarious, halflings are annoying and stupid in almost every fantasy. I hope they never make it in game.

3. The fact that Wurzzag carries around the shaman that got him exiled, which lead to him finding the Baleful Mask, and connecting him with Gork and Mork, and the general fact he can turn other wizards into squigs.