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When in doubt, it's probably just a salty host or the host being a childish troll.
Context matters.
If you run into my Autocannon Sentry that's been blasting away at the enemy right next to you for the last 30 seconds, then i don't care if you die 20 times in this fashion. It is not my fault, even if its attributed to me.
On the other hand, if i keep throwing an Airburst onto your location and you die 20 times to that, then it is very much my fault and way to many.
How many are to many? 1 is to many. You should always aim to avoid Friendly Fire kills, in my opinion. But i also don't think that is a realistic number, and i have no realistic number, because context matters.
Kill my sentry: right well sorry but I've got to grenade pistol you over and over again until I run out of ammo otherwise democracy will fail. Hold still please!
Friendly fire is dumb now anyway because there's been countless times I've died and it has blamed my friends when they clearly were not at fault. As long as you say "I'm Sorry!" or type into the chat that you're sorry, and maybe help them retrieve their stuff (and don't just grab it off the ground, samples included, as soon as they die) then things should be okay even if you do it like 5+ times a mission.
I use the Arc Thrower against bugs. I've killed my friends (even randoms) so many times accidentally. One mission I had like 9 friendly fire incidents because I also decided to test out a 120mm and 380mm orbital barrage strategy which...well, unintended consequences.
Level 44 with only 80 incidents of friendly fire sounds very good, at least by my standards.
You can't control running into impatient, quick to anger hosts. Just gotta roll with the punches. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I have 55k total vs 115 friendlies
I feel like that's a fair trade off
I've left games where some idiot couldn't control his fire or did stupid stuff a lot. But most of the time even if preventable it isn't a big deal. Just don't make a habit of it.
And then of course you have the teammates that run into the eagle your dropped for whatever reason.