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BZH May 31 @ 10:23pm
Give me your worst Helldivers joke
Two Helldivers walk into a bar...
...the first one orders a Liber-Tea, the second one accidentally calls in an Orbital Laser Strike. There are no survivors.
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Showing 1-15 of 33 comments
Foxador May 31 @ 10:26pm 
There were two Helldivers
The first Helldiver says that he just voted and asks the other whom they voted for
The second Helldiver says that they don't vote
There was one Helldiver
#1
Mason (Banned) May 31 @ 10:27pm 
Helldivers 2 has a lot of bugs.
#2
Super Pickle May 31 @ 10:44pm 
Helldivers can't swim
#3
Singularity's Marauder May 31 @ 10:54pm 
a squid, an automaton, a bug walk into a bar

the bug is staring at the ceiling fan
the automaton orders a giant beer
the illuminate squid orders a bathtub of carrot juice

the helldiver asks "why did you order a whole bathtub of carrot juice"
the squid says "because they didnt have any oranges"
#4
AoD_lexandro May 31 @ 10:55pm 
Why did the squid cross the road?

Because it was stapled to the chicken.
#5
Foxador May 31 @ 11:00pm 
Originally posted by Mason:
Helldivers 2 has a lot of bugs.

Half the servers are just full of bots too
#6
BZH May 31 @ 11:04pm 
Two helldivers walks into a forest. One helldiver collapse, the other panics and contacts the super destroyer and says: "My teammate has fallen down and I'm out of stims. What should I do!?" The destroyer operator replies "Stay calm first make sure if he is dead" Then the operator hears two gun shots. The helldiver response: "Okay, now what?"
#7
Logen Neuf-Doigts May 31 @ 11:06pm 
the helldiver considered lines of sight and the possibilities of ennemies coming from more than one direction before placing a turret
#8
Anticitizen 1 May 31 @ 11:08pm 
DSS.
#9
St0rmFury May 31 @ 11:10pm 
Did you know that the Eagle-1 pilot has a sister?

Her callsign is Hawk-2.
#10
Foxador May 31 @ 11:10pm 
Ever wonder what their favorite place to go is?

A Dive bar
#11
Anticitizen 1 May 31 @ 11:29pm 
Give the helldiver a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Give him an orbital napalm barrage, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
#12
BZH Jun 1 @ 3:18am 
PRIDE WARBOND
This joke makes me laugh a lot
#13
Cryptic Jun 1 @ 3:28am 
Bug divers.

That's a joke in and of itself.
#14
Deamo Jun 1 @ 3:54am 
Why does P Diddy have so much oil in his closet ?
Cause he’s a bugdiver.:steamhappy:
Last edited by Deamo; Jun 1 @ 3:57am
#15
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HELLDIVERS™ 2 > General Discussions > Topic Details
Date Posted: May 31 @ 10:23pm
Posts: 33

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