A Glyphid Grunt broke into your room, the thing on your right hand side is your weapon. What you've got?

[Rock&StoneTorture]

I start

ASTROGLIDE

[Watereaters]

Headphone case

[Waldherz]

Right hand side?
My mouse and a spoon...

[SlantedRhetoric]

Diet coke.

Which tbh probably would kill a glyphid.

[The Lunar Douche]

Crowbar.

DIY renovations FTW.

[ShugoTheRipper]

6D Maglite

[wubbelflup]

i have to choose between a nail clipper and a scalpel blade.

[Bono my tyres are gone]

AIM-260 JATM

[Ser Pounce]

A plastic waste paper basket.
It'll probably shred it at some point but can make for a cool muzzle for a time.

[Cadmarcadlith]

Nothing but my own fists and legs

[Chris!!]

Cyanide, for a rainy day.

[LunarLime]

A can of Pringles.

So I'm just going to give them a side dish as well.

[Caspian]

An elbow/wrist pad for my keyboard and mousing. Not the best weapon, but it'll slap like a flip flop, and I'm sure we all know how effective those are.

Behind my right-hand side though there are some fig saplings and a sweet potato in pots, certainly not the best but if I had to sacrifice one it might stun the glyphid.

However, immediately behind me I have a throwing stick (non-returning hunting boomerang) and a shepherd's sling. If I can reach the throwing stick, I pick it up and throw it at the glyphid, only to miss and be eaten because I don't have immediate ammo for the sling.

[Maximum stupidity]

In that case I'd have to bash it's head in with the Duden or an old computer mouse. For context the Duden is the german dictonary. Or if that doesn't work I also have an old school computer wich I have scavenged for parts.

[RaindropperinG]

Goodbye, computer.

[Chibbity]

There is literally nothing on my right hand side besides a window lol, so I guess I'm gonna jump out that and run for my life.