Leaf Lover's Special is my Favorite Drink at the Abyss Bar

[GIRL]

Yup. I LOVE Leaf Lover's Special. So glad management included it among all these other disgusting "beers." In fact, it's the ONLY good drink on the menu! I make sure to drink at least a dozen Leaf Lover's before entering a mission (Btw, I only play Hazard 1, anything above that is IMPOSSIBLE for me, I don't know why devs even added anything beyond Hazard 2).

I don't even collect beer materials in the caves, because I don't need them. And frankly, my team shouldn't need them either. Why work my ass off just for some disgusting alcoholic garbage sewer-water that makes me want to HURL? Blergh! I shoot down any teammate dumb enough to try and grab beer mats. I need to remind them that the BEST drink on the menu doesn't even cost beer mats! Just a handful of credits! How easy is that!

Oh, and make sure to NEVER tip Lloyd, even if he's serving you a delicious LEAF LOVER'S SPECIAL, because he's just a robot. Not a friend or a companion of any kind. The "tip jar" is just another cheeky way management is trying to steal your hard-earned Credits. Truly, Capitalism is DISGUSTING and we need to Unionize so we can fight back against the corporate Fat Cats!

OH and before I forget!! Never, EVER shoot Lootbugs! They're beautiful, harmless wildlife that haven't done anything to you! In fact, I try to avoid ALL bugs instead of shooting them! Nature is beautiful and we should LOVE it instead of KILL it! These bugs are just misunderstood! After all, we're the ones invading their natural habitat! We should push management into researching safer, GREENER ways of mining minerals, so we don't have to interrupt this BEAUTIFUL planet's WONDERFUL ecosystem!

..........

...Yes, of course this is an April Fool's joke. What kind of hipster-stache'd, shaved-sideburn-wearing, four-eyed, ponytail-trotting, frappe-serving Leaf Lover do you take me for!? For Karl's sake, I nearly threw up the last Flintlock's Delight I drank just WRITING this disgusting mess. I think I'm gonna be sick. Good thing I can solve that by just drinking more Blackout Stout until I pass out and revive in the med-bay. The ONLY way ANY Dwarf should cure themselves of a hangover, mind you.

[GARFIELF]

Elven fingers typed this.

[omar_uav]

you knife shaped ears!

even your ears shows how you are not trustworthy.

[Chibbity]

Elf alert! : P

[GIRL]

I got a clown award? Good. Now I can lie about my other clown awards and say I got them on April Fool's day, and not because I had a bad opinion! Nice!

[Chibbity]

Originally posted by Femboy Thighs:

I got a clown award? Good. Now I can lie about my other clown awards and say I got them on April Fool's day, and not because I had a bad opinion! Nice!

I gave your profile a "super star" award to balance it out lol.

[RaindropperinG]

*displeased dwarven grunting*

[Meat Man (Alfons)]

Some say Karl drank so vigorously, he could get drunk on Leaf Lover Specials

[Waste_of_skin]

To paraphrase Plankton:

"Is this made from real or artificial Leaf Lovers?"

[Icolino]

Its alarming how close to the real world this post is

[TheGraveDigger]

the smell of leaf lovers is strong here

[RainingMetal]

In all seriousness, I actually don't bother with beer seeds outside of barley bulbs because I have hundreds of them lying around doing nothing. And I don't tip Lloyd simply because due to an attempt to literally buy everything at the cosmetic store (and falling short), I can't spare the credits, not even a little (also I'm not really an advocate of tipping culture).

[Prisoner 327]

Heresy!

[Chibbity]

Originally posted by RainingMetal:

In all seriousness, I actually don't bother with beer seeds outside of barley bulbs because I have hundreds of them lying around doing nothing.

Only when you're playing solo I hope? Your team mates might need them!

[RainingMetal]

Originally posted by Chibbity:

Originally posted by RainingMetal:

In all seriousness, I actually don't bother with beer seeds outside of barley bulbs because I have hundreds of them lying around doing nothing.

Only when you're playing solo I hope? Your team mates might need them!

Ehhh, I just let my teammates get them.

[Twinkletoes]

Jokes on you.

I can't read.