Just started playing and....this sucks. I suck. The game sucks. And I suck.

[CrazyJayBe]

Yeah, just started playing. Got it on sale June 28 2020 for $5.13...wonder why...

Anyway, I'm having a severe newb problem. Not that I'm new to games, puzzle games, platformer games, or FPS type of games...just...new to...WHATEVER you call this..."game".

I currently have 90 minutes of gametime listening to the danger music of the mustachioed villain either hunting or chasing me.

After chasing my ball down the street, I witness him do something terrible with terrible sound effects. After locking the terrible sound effect behind a random door, I stand there like an idiot waiting for him to see me.

Then he sees me.

Then the game gives me control back so I can run away.

I don't.

I stand there like an idiot.

He grabs me, then it cuts to him locking the door AGAIN, then placing the key upstairs.

So I'm dead. Case closed. Roll credits. Money well spent. I can't wait to tell all my friends abou---wait...I'm...standing in front my house now? Did...did he grab me, place me gently in my front yard, and then test his locks??

ooooooooo kaaaayyyy...guess it's time to move around and stuff.

After learning how to pick up and throw random junk for an hour, I look up the walkthrough because picking up trash just didn't have that excitement anymore. Poor trash cans. It's not you, it's me. It's also very unclear what to do when this guy teleports around to grab you where ever.

I have to get "The Red Key"....

...what is this, Doom? It's the Unreal engine so clearly it's a Socom clone of CoD with a little Roblox battle arena. Yeah. Totally makes sense.

I'm writing this idiotic discussion to chronicle my misadventures of this..."game", or as the devs would call it, "eamg" or something. Help, complaints, trolling, and any other comments are not necessary. This is only for your, and my, amusement.

24 July 2020 22:43 (Eastern Standard Time)

Figured out how to "hard throw" an object by holding down throw until the screen does this thing as if it looks like Mustachioed Villain is giving chase. Now I can break windows. Yay.

Found a switch on the second floor that raises a platform by the circuit box outside. a-HA! Got it. Now we're cookin' with Madge. So I go around the house to....oh...it's up there out of reach. Yes of course. Alright! No problem. I know exactly what to do. I need to have it lowered and then shut off the circuit breaker. Then I need to quickly get back up the and flip the switch.

screeeeek

...what was that?

As I turn the corner of the house, I not only see the platform raised back up (CRAP), Mustache Face grabs me (CRAP CRAP)

ooooooooooo kaaaaaaaaayyy...

THIS time I wait in a cupboard for like 20 minutes of time I could be using to count the blades of grass in my backyard. He finally goes to sleep as I hear him snoring.

RACE to the circuit breaker, SHUT it off, ZOOM up to the switch, flip THATscreeeeeeeek..WHAT?!?!

Platform raised AGAIN. Circuit breaker on AGAIN. He grabs me AGAIN. CRAP CRAP CRAP

End of entry for today. This game, and I, suck.

More to come.

06 December 2020 0046 (Eastern Standard Time)

Oh! Hey everybody! I forgot I even owned this game. Or gmae. Or eamg. Whatever.

I thought I would chronicle my misadventures but I simply realized at some point that I've been had.

This isn't a game. It's a sad attempt at collecting money. Only the hype of this game led me to purchase it. Thank GOD I got it heavily discounted. It's so poorly designed that it should be taken off the store or at least made free.

Let's think about this: there are plenty of platformer/puzzle/FPS/Portal-like games that actually work.

This doesn't.

Well...it does I guess but only if you count workarounds as working properly. If Windows crashes and I find a workaround to prevent it from crashing, does that count as working properly or not crashing? Which one? The build here is so alpha and immature that I can't tell if it was just a school project.

THAT'S how I feel about this........masterpiece....of programming.

This thing just sucks.

I got to the impossibly large basement, ran around for awhile....quit. Uninstall. Never went back.

[butterdog]

boo

[AtomicFinjaMaster]

I know you said help isnt necessary but something that made the game WAY more enjoyable for me was setting the Neighbor to "friendly mode" in settings, he becomes slower and no longer sets up 87 cameras at every location you spend more than .3 seconds in, also, that won't be the first walkthrough you have to look up, this game's puzzles are solved by one of two things, stack box to win, OR create 12 different rituals capable of summoning cthulhu before you get the first item required in the puzzle.

[Kastuk]

Can throw things at switches to pull them down.
Anyway, I did complete this very first level only by bugged villain, locked in the wall.
Before I did shoot him and his house by everything outside (and from second house) and then jump to the roof and then second floor from trash can.

What bad is bugs. Locked inventory slot with banana after several death grabbing, wrong waypoints for routine after chasing. double-opening doors on the second level.

[DiamondMcSquidgee]

I feel like hello neighbour is a game you would enjoy more if you were playing it since the pre-alpha. pre-alpha was simple and actually got the point. if you were playing/watching this game since atleast alpha 3 then you get a taste of whats coming but if you stumble on this game because its on special and you never heard of it before then yes, its really hard. I started watching since pre-alpha and started playing since alpha 3 and before I got the full game I played alpha 4 but I knew what I was mostly doing in act 3 after I already played alpha 4.

[AtomicFinjaMaster]

Originally posted by DiamondMcSquidgee:

I feel like hello neighbour is a game you would enjoy more if you were playing it since the pre-alpha. pre-alpha was simple and actually got the point. if you were playing/watching this game since atleast alpha 3 then you get a taste of whats coming but if you stumble on this game because its on special and you never heard of it before then yes, its really hard. I started watching since pre-alpha and started playing since alpha 3 and before I got the full game I played alpha 4 but I knew what I was mostly doing in act 3 after I already played alpha 4.

Doesnt it defeat the purpose of a puzzle game if you need to know the solution (or something close to it) for the puzzles before going in?

[CrazyJayBe]

Oh! Hey everybody! I forgot I even owned this game. Or gmae. Or eamg. Whatever.

I thought I would chronicle my misadventures but I simply realized at some point that I've been had.

This isn't a game. It's a sad attempt at collecting money. Only the hype of this game led me to purchase it. Thank GOD I got it heavily discounted. It's so poorly designed that it should be taken off the store or at least made free.

Let's think about this: there are plenty of platformer/puzzle/FPS/Portal-like games that actually work.

This doesn't.

Well...it does I guess but only if you count workarounds as working properly. If Windows crashes and I find a workaround to prevent it from crashing, does that count as working properly or not crashing? Which one? The build here is so alpha and immature that I can't tell if it was just a school project.

THAT'S how I feel about this........masterpiece....of programming.

This thing just sucks.

I got to the impossibly large basement, ran around for awhile....quit. Uninstall. Never went back.

[Kastuk]

But basement is where tactical-chairlocking fun begins...

[AtomicFinjaMaster]

Yeah I dont blame you, Basement is trash

[Kastuk]

And this is where I got deadlock at start bottleneck after several defeats and delete the game for awhile.