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Both. The first is subjective. Anyone can enjoy various settings. I can't comment much besides take some time and try various settings to find a sweet spot for you and your friend where you feel comfortable but still enjoy it. Also, be weary of putting AI on higher difficulties on teams. They will co-ordinate. Meaning you're essentially fighting -one- AI with double units.
If you like larger maps, considering putting in some AI, something weaker than the 'threat' of the match. You still have a chance to spawn next to the Team/high difficulty AI, but for each AI you add in, is one that might be fighting them first. One that you could fight for land early all while giving you and your partner time to build up resources and units.
For example. My go-to is (Modded) extra large maps with 11-13 AI, one of each faction, usually. Sometimes I'll set up a team of 4-5, sometimes multiple teams of 2, on a higher difficulty. Sometimes the 'threat' will be a faction set on Impossible and pray they don't spawn directly next to one of us. The rest of the AI would be set on Strong+
The second? I can't comment on much given the details given. If all you had were Leman tanks, then yes, something was wrong. If it were a hyperbole then, again, I can't comment.
If you're both new then it's a pretty safe bet things can be improved for next time. Gladius is an absolute learning experience with too many facets to just list off unprompted.
Edit:
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2571507843
Mod in question. I highly recommend it to play with settings. Just be careful of going too extreme. Crashes and lockups can happen. Both players involved also need the mod.
Play against a standard AI, that's already challenging enough when you begin.
As for a "fun" experience, it's extremely subjective. Play around with the settings (game speed, tech cost...) and see what you like.