Problems keeping good relations with vassal lords

[retrobarbaari]

I'm playing my first game, Viking Conquest, no mods. Current day is 1081.

At the moment my queendom has 9 vassal lords and covers about 40% of Britannia and 15% of Hibernia. My character owns all the 6 towns in the realm and 13 forts. My vassals own each from 4 to 2 centers (forts and villages). Most of my vassals are of martial character type, but there is 3 calculating ones too. Solveig, my marshal, has relation usually between 100 and 90, but there are about 5 vassals that are just barely above zero, and one vassal who has about -45 at the moment. (Two of my vassals are former companions).

I know some ways to improve relation with vassals:
1. Buying 5000 pennings warrior rings. Rises 5 points relation.
2. Giving fiefs. But this increases relation with one lord only, and with almost everyone else the relation decreases. The net result is that giving someone a fief, the relations fall quite considerably. It is a way to ruin the relations, not improve them.
3. Helping someone in battle. This works with some lords, but not with all. Helped a lord that I have about -50 relation in about half a dozen battle, trying to improve the relation, but it had no effect at all.

I've seen advises to "throw feasts." but that doesn't seem to work at all. You can only symbel (buy a feast) in your own forts and towns, but it only improves your relationship with the fort or town, and increases troop morale. Has no effect to any vassal lords. And none of the vassals arrive into your feast anyway.
When your vassals have feast (august gathering), then some other vassals will arrive there. I've participated into these feasts as often I can, dozens of times by now, and talked with them lords. Now, I have not yet kept record, if it improves relationship at all (my gut feeling is it does not). But I've practiced this so many times, it is not enough to keep up relations.

My queendom is of the size that it gets these border incidents with other kingdoms every now and then, quite frequently, and that causes "lose of face" that drops relations with my vassals. I have currently 3 wars going on, and would have more, if I every time replied by declaring a war. And kingdoms that do not have borders with me, also declare wars.

So is there any other way to keep up the relationships, except keep buying warrior rings to my vassals repeatedly?

EDIT, EDIT, TAKE TWO: I just participated a symbel my vassal lord was having. After double checking I notice my relation increased 2 points after chatting with the host.
However, chatting with another vassal, a guest in the symbel, there was no change with the relation.
EDIT 3: And this time, I visited another lord's feast. One with calculating character. Talked to him, he toasted to me, checked the relation: did not change. Loaded earlier save, repeated: did not change. So works with some lords, not with others?
EDIT 4: It is possible I got the 2 points relation increase because I had helped a friend of this lord in battle. So possibly taking part in the symbel was not the reason for the one odd relation increase.

EDIT 2: It seems it's the martial character type lords that have a decrease of relation every time you lose face. I have 5 martial lords, which means I lose 5 times 3 points, 15 points every time there's a lose of face incident. Holy .... it's too much! This means calculating lords would actually be a better vassal character type.

[Tuidjy]

The main problem is that in Viking Conquest, queens have no way of throwing feasts for their vassals. This is a fault with the mod, and there's nothing you can do about it.

The little feasts for your troops are a completely separate mechanic.

Also, once you are at -50 relationship, a lot of things that would have otherwise worked, do not. So at the point you are, there is little you can do.

I am not sure whether the unmodded Viking Conquest allows you to set kingdom policies - it's been a while since I've played. Check.

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At this point, I usually plug the Viking Conquest Balance Mod, which is not a balance mod at this point, but more of an expansion to Viking Conquest. The latest version allows female rulers to hold feasts, in addition to quite an amazing number of other quality of life improvements.

[retrobarbaari]

Originally posted by Tuidjy:

The main problem is that in Viking Conquest, queens have no way of throwing feasts for their vassals.

Oh, I see! This is gonna cost me a lot of pennings to keep bribing all these vassals staying above zero points relation, then.

Like there never were barbarian tribe queens! Yeah, noticed female chars got extra hurdles on their way when tried to get a fief from my liege. Could not get one, but fortunately rebellion was possible.

Originally posted by Tuidjy:

usually plug the Viking Conquest Balance Mod.... The latest version allows female rulers to hold feasts, in addition to quite an amazing number of other quality of life improvements.

Do you know can one load an unmodded save game file with the mod?

Thanks! Really useful answers.

[Tuidjy]

Originally posted by retrobarbaari:

Originally posted by Tuidjy:

usually plug the Viking Conquest Balance Mod.... The latest version allows female rulers to hold feasts, in addition to quite an amazing number of other quality of life improvements.

Do you know can one load an unmodded save game file with the mod?

You will not like the answer.

Yes, for all versions before 13.

No for version 13, which breaks saves... because it add new options and features, like the one you are looking for, namely throwing feasts as a female ruler.