Marriage for people like me?

[Xena Warrior Woman]

This happens to be my favorite genre (besides space sims); it's killing me that it's being sold at such a great price.. BUT

I've checked the Wiki, having seen that marriage was covered quite extensively, but I cannot believe no one has brought up me question. I searched but I get "no results" for my search terms. (Not a good sign).

So I'll just ask. Here goes.

I'm a female gamer; is it true that female players truly CANNOT marry other females characters? Someone said that since takes place at a time before marriage equality was permitted it's not permitted in the game.

I'm positive that when this was supposed to take place. people were also forbidden to marry outside their own racial group. (Both church and state discouraged/forbade racial mixing) No game designer with a shred of ethics or decency would attempt to make a game that would force a player to marry within their own racial group.

Technically there may not have been same sex marriage when this game took place, it is also true that people who had enough money and resources did as they pleased. Male members of royal blood engaged in same sex courting while people looked the other way. Rules only apply to the little people like you and me. The ruling class has always been of the mind: "Do as I say - not as I do."

Money + power = privilege.

My point has nothing to do with 'ruining" the game for anyone else. Or advancing any agenda other than everyone being able to play enjoyably. As a lesbian - I have absolutely ZERO desire to role play courting and marrying a male lord. Actually, I'm older than most players here and for my entire young adult life my ONLY option was to court and marry a man - which i had no interest in doing.

Bottom line - my money is as green as anyone else's. Why would I spend money on a game that fantasizes that people like me don't exist? Yes, folks, as amazing as it may seem, LGBT people have been around since the dawn of creation.

Therefore: I'm trying to figure out if I should spend my money on this game. Someone please tell me one way or another whether or not gay people can play as gay people in this game, or are we forced to pretend to be straight?

[Tavio]

unfortunately, i dont think this game has an option for same sex marriage (played as a male, didnt see any possibility for it either).

that being said, if what you are looking for is same sex marriage, seeing that it isnt here, odds are you shouldnt spend your money since what you want, isnt there.

personally marriage here i found it a bother and a troublesome thing, so i did away with it and just conquered what i could when i could, plus, to me, it really didnt feel fleshed out.

so it turns around and really its only something you should decide.
if you are looking for a game that has the option of sex same marriage, this isnt the game you are looking for.
if you are looking for a game where you can lead armies and fight personally, then this would be the game for you.

[lionhart]

Marriage is not that big of a deal in Warband. It is something that was tacked on as part of an update. Getting married confers a few minor benefits, but it is entirely possible to start your own faction and win the game as a female player, without ever getting married.

If it helps any, there are female heroes you can recruit into your party, and who will travel with you throughout the game. You can think of one of them as your lesbian partner, just without the official sanction of the in-game society.

[lionhart]

By the way, we are talking only about the vanilla game here. There are tons of mods for Warband, and it's possible there is a mod out there that adds same sex marriage. In fact I am pretty sure there is a mod that lets you marry your hero-companions.

[Paperclip *PIRX*COP*]

If you talk to the eligible ladies of any the royal houses while playing as a female character, they'll readily engage in conversation with you but will always end it with the generic brush-off, "Now if you'll excuse me..."

They'll say the exact same thing to a male character when they're being wooed by them if they happen to not be interested in him at all (as opposed to gently egging him on to continue with the conversation some more if they seem to have taken a liking to him), and so looks like it's hard-coded into the game for the NPC ladies to disable the marriage path if your player's character happens to be of the same gender.

I'll have to agree with Tavio's response that this may not be the game for you if that's the main criteria that you're looking for in a game.

That said, people have been known to make mods for games specifically to address certain requests by people for alternative features such as same-sex relationships. One such example I can think of off the top of my head is the mod for the game Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (the first one), whereby Juhani ends up being the one expressing her love for you if you happen to be playing as a female character (hence replacing Carth Onassi being the main love interest as presented in the unmodded storyline).

[Xena Warrior Woman]

Thanks for all of your replies. I have played Skyrim, SWTOR, the Mass Effect Trilogy, all of the Elder Scrolls games, Dragon Age (both), and many of the MMO's that are out there. I've never romanced characters nor have I bothered buying property or marrying characters. I do make sure what little money I have goes to support developers who are inclusive of all kinds of people in their games. That was why I was asking. I wasn't looking for a game that allows me to engage in same sex marriage, I'm looking for a game that doesn't maginalize people like me, pretending we don't exist while relegating us to the same old shadow of invisibility. (And I realize that it's nearly impossible to understand where I'm coming from unless you've been here... Kind of like an inside joke only nothing about this is remotely funny).

***I am VERY grateful to everyone who replied and took the time to help me out. THANK YOU!***

[Kalil]

"Oh look at me everybody I'm so special, a unique little snowflake just like all the other incredibly whiney LBGWTFs who feel the need to spout on endlessly on every corner of the internet about their sexuality".

It's a game set in a time period where such behaviour would likely have had you stoned to death.

I don't agree with or condone that of course. I'm pretty much neutral with regards to who people get with but I'm so sick of hearing about it like it's the most important thing on earth.

[SideraMaris]

What?

You're wrong on your assumption that homosexuality would get you stoned to death during this time perioid.

Stoning is what the Jews and Muslims did back in ancient times. Jews who adhere to Judaism no longer do this (thank goodness) but I assume the muslims who follow Islam still do this in some parts of the world.

In European countries that outlawed homosexuality the punishment was being burned to death.

Yet homosexaulity existed during the middle ages and the renaissance notably the wealthy cities of Italy. It was frowned upon and the degree of punishment varied from country to country, and during different times.

[source: wikipedia]

Same sex marriage would not be out of place in this game. If you wanted to keep it as realistic as possible you could make it slightly harder to gain favour with some lords who may be homophobic.

I hope they add this choice in Bannerlord.

Originally posted by KalilAlokira:

"Oh look at me everybody I'm so special, a unique little snowflake just like all the other incredibly whiney LBGWTFs who feel the need to spout on endlessly on every corner of the internet about their sexuality".

It's a game set in a time period where such behaviour would likely have had you stoned to death.

I don't agree with or condone that of course. I'm pretty much neutral with regards to who people get with but I'm so sick of hearing about it like it's the most important thing on earth.

[azxcvbnm321]

Same sex marriage definitely would be out of place in this game. Homosexuality has always been a part of human society, but same sex MARRIAGE is a recent innovation. I am not aware of any society or culture on Earth that allowed same sex marriage before the 20th century. A number of cultures condoned homosexuality, just not marriage.

Marriage in the game is mainly used for gaining relations with powerful households or for economic and military benefits as was the custom of the time period the game is set in. Love, attraction and so forth were not reasons to get married, your mistress or lover satisfied those needs. If you were a homosexual in this time period and born into a noble and wealthy family, you would marry someone of the opposite sex because, again, love and attraction were not important factors in determining who you were going to marry. Kings routinely married off their daughters and sons to people they'd never seen before. There is no reason why the developers should put in a mechanic that is foreign to the time period and adds nothing to the gameplay.

That being said, you can simply play as a male and marry a female if you wish. I am male but often play as a female because marrying a male lord has many benefits, far outweighing any sex discrimination I may face.

[Xena Warrior Woman]

Thank you KalilAlokira for showing your ignorance of the Middle Ages! You just made my point for me.

Antisemitism was RAMPANT in Europe back then. Are we encouraged to treat Jews like dogs and sling racial slurs their way? (That would be "true" to the Middle Age culture). African people were not considered human, and were said to be "close to dumb animals," By virtue of their PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES alone they were classified as BORN to be SLAVES. I'll wager the game does not treat non-whites like this.(At least I sure hope it doesn't).

Similarly, women had no status during the Middle Ages, apart from the men who owned them. (First their fathers, then their husbands). Yet, the game (rightly) wouldn't dare treat female gamers the way they would be treated in the middle ages. (Although you seem to be the type of person thinks misogyny is just good, clean fun).


So, please, KalilAlokira, what makes gays special that we should be grateful, in your words, that we aren't stoned today? If the developers wouldn't dare treat Jews, people of color, women, or other minorities like they were treated during the Middle Ages, (or as if they didn't exist), why should it be OK to strip gays of our human dignity? My money was as green as yours the last time I checked. Why cherry pick attributes from the Middle Ages and just retain the ones that concern sexual minorities?

This is not about YOU or closed minded people like you. It's about US and FOR US. I don't give a flying fig if a gay marriage option is important to you or whether you don't approve. It's important to US.

LGBT characters on tv or movies aren't about getting YOUR approval - that's about making US feel like a part of this culture. If you don't like it, DON'T WATCH!!

I will continue to ask such questions so I can support games that don't treat LGBT's like we don't exist or need to be invisible. I don't support entertainment that assumes we won't "mind" pretending that EVERYONE is straight. They aren't.

No offense. azxcvbnm321, but you'd NEVER ask a Jew to pretend he/she is Christian to satisfy the game's limitations, so why are you asking me to pretend I'm a straght man?I know you don't understand why it would not be a good thing for me to just play as a straight guy. To you it doesn't seem like a big deal, and sure, I respect that.

It's fun for you to play as a female bc you have that choice. You have not been FORCED to pretend to be something you aren't to keep from "offending" others (and losing you job, your home, your military commission your health coverage, your family, your kids).

Bottom line: I don't to support games that perpetuate this nonsense. (I would not support a game that was antisemtic, racist or that encouraged oppressive stereotypes).

I don't expect you anyone to understand it... BUT imagine this: What if tomorrow you awoke and suddenly the world considered blue or green eyes as a mark of moral weakness. Or being left handed? How would that make you feel? Just think about it...

[Sohei]

There is a female Lord in the Phantasy Calradia mod that has a wife. This was done because of the way the game handles the lords by default assumes they are male but the mod creator left it in as a nod to the possibility of homosexual relationships. The gender pronouns are off when other npcs refer to them but otherwise it works fine. They even have a child. It is left unclear whether this was done through magic or adoption or other means.

If you wanted you could probably make a playable homosexual character in a similar way. You could to do this by creating a male character and then editing the character file to switch them to a female model. I haven't tried to do this myself so don't ask but I think it is possible. Again, gender references would be off but you would be able to marry a woman. There are some slight differences in role play in the game based on gender but mostly this is just to make playing a female character slighlty harder in a misogynist world.

[Xena Warrior Woman]

Interesting... Thanks for the info!!

[Sohei]

By the way there are some interesting options for female NPCs in the game as well. You can support a woman in their claim to a throne and help them take over that kingdom or even all of Calradia. You can also rescue prisoners from bandits or enemy lords and sometimes this will include peasant women. These upgrade eventually into Sword Sisters which are very good troop units.

[Sohei]

Just found this. Proof that it is possible with modding.

http://youtu.be/2sdEMeYh0pY

http://forums.taleworlds.com/index.php?topic=258758.0

[Solfosc]

You can't either marriage people of the same sex on Crusader Kings, so is it also homophobic?

There are no black people either in M&B, so this game is not only sexist but racist.

[Sarcastro]

The things people deem worthy of complaining about these days is quite impressive.

I think I will start a post complaining that I can't marry my horse or maybe my shoes. I am sure there are some MODs out that will allow this but we all know that isn't good enough.