How & Who to marry?

[Thunderchief]

Last night I made it my goal to find a wife in the game as it is something I haven't done yet. I chose Lady Sonadel as I am currently Mercenary for Swadia and she has many male relatives and she is the least ugly in her family...

Her father doesn't have a fief of his own but her uncle has Uxkhal and between them her relatives own half of Swadia.

I simply walked up to her and told her I like her and I gained 17 renown straight away; a good sign? I won a tournament and then dedicated it to her for another 4 points. She is wearing a fur coat so I assume she is tomboy type rather than romantic.

I had about 18 renown with her father and he refused based on the fact that I am not a Swadian vassal. I gave him 6 Swadian Knights for the quest, and it boosted him to my friends list, but he still refuses because I am not a vassal.

Will I ever be able to marry her without the father hating me unless I become a vassal?
Did I make a good decision in choosing Lady Sonadel or are there better options? Enemy or neutral factions?

[DROPbear]

short answer: yes, just a bit difficult


From warband wikia:
"You can also court a lady of a faction where you are not a vassal, although it may be difficult to visit her in times of war.

About 5 days after your last visit, you will receive a letter from her asking you to pay a visit. If you have permission from the family you can just walk up to the gate and go in, if not, you are smuggled in dressed as a scullery maid by one of the nurses. Once inside, you may discuss your future with the lady, dedicate a recent tourney victory, or recite poetry you picked up from the various wandering minstrels in the hopes of winning her heart."

[Thunderchief]

From my understanding though if you elope without the fathers permission then the male relatives of the wife turn against you and start attacking you. My question isn't whether it is possible to marry but rather if it is possible to get the fathers permission without being a vassal.

I chose a bride with a large family because I want to get them all friendly with me.

[DROPbear]

just increase your relationship with him

[Thunderchief]

So he will ignore that I am not a vassal and let me marry his daughter if I have even higher relationship? It is already over 20 and he is listed as a Friend.

[lionhart]

You don't need to be a Swadian vassal; you just need to be a vassal to any kingdom. The issue is not which kingdom you belong to, but simply whether you are a lord or not. You already have enough relation with both her and her father to get married, but the father will never approve it until you become a vassal.

The only way you can get married without being a vassal is by convincing her to elope. She might be willing to do it (the adventurous ladies are more willing to elope than the others), but you need to have a castle of your own first. She will tell you all of this if you ask her whether you have a future together.

[Thunderchief]

My goal is to eventually start my own kingdom. If I become a vassal what difficulties will there be in breaking free to do that. The other thing keeping me from becoming a vassal at the moment is I don't want to allow any faction to become dominant, so I was planning on joining weak sides to give them a boost.

I already helped Swadia get Praven back when they were down to just 1 city left.

How long can I string her along? Seems I'm afraid of commiment!

[lionhart]

It's actually easier to start your own kingdom if you become a vassal first. As a vassal you can take ownership of cities and castles, then when you rebel all of the fiefs you control become part of your kingdom. You can get off to a fast start that way.

[Thunderchief]

Hmm. So if I conquor the Nords and then want to move on Swadia how will the family take it when I attack?

[lionhart]

Originally posted by Thunderchief:

How long can I string her along? Seems I'm afraid of commiment! :D:

As for stringing her along, well you can keep visiting her once a week when she calls for you, and that will keep the courtship going. However there is always the chance that one of the other lords she is seeing (the ladies are always seeing several lords at the same time, don't kid yourself) may snatch her away and marry her behind your back. You can defend against that by courting several other ladies yourself. There is no penalty for doing so -- the ladies never find out about each other -- and at least you will have a backup plan if your first choice doesn't work out.

[lionhart]

Originally posted by Thunderchief:

Hmm. So if I conquor the Nords and then want to move on Swadia how will the family take it when I attack?

Actually the smarter thing to do would be to join the Swadians and then rebel against them. Since they are already very weak it will be easier to defeat them, and once their faction is eliminated there is a very good chance that some of their lords will defect to your side.

[Jediboyejb]

The simple answer to your problem is this: Kill/take everyone prisoner so she will have to marry you in order to populate Calradia again. Come on, you must be morons if you did not think of this simple strategy.

[Luxivus]

Originally posted by Jediboyejb:

The simple answer to your problem is this: Kill/take everyone prisoner so she will have to marry you in order to populate Calradia again. Come on, you must be morons if you did not think of this simple strategy.

I salute you, good sir.

[Jediboyejb]

Originally posted by Khan Mikhail Vykstrom:

Originally posted by Jediboyejb:

The simple answer to your problem is this: Kill/take everyone prisoner so she will have to marry you in order to populate Calradia again. Come on, you must be morons if you did not think of this simple strategy.

I salute you, good sir.

*Tips hat* As I to you.

[✚ Mariel ✚]

1) Join Swadia
2) Marry girl
3) Throw feasts til rep maxed with everyone in Swadia
4) Solo bandits or escort caravns to lvl up and get persuasion to 10
5) Go on a rampage through an enemy faction taking as many fiefs as possible and asking for them
6) When King refuses you one, talk to him and rebel
7) Talk to all the lords and convince them to join you because they love you and your persuasion is 10, they bring their fiefs with you
8) Establish People's Republic of Swadia

[Name]

Real gangstas just enable cheats, grant themselves maxed attributes/skills, 100 Swadian Knights, 1,000,000 denars, and disable cheats. THEN you court a ho and beat down the authority.