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1) You get all your lords in one place, so you can pick their brain on who should get the next fief, and convince them if needed.
2) You can quickly resolve disputes between vassals.
3) You can start a campaign with all lords together, and quickly hit your target.
To be honest, I do not go out of my way to throw magnificent feasts. But getting all your reliable lords where you need them is very valuable. Note that if a lord does not like you enough to come to your feast, you should either not count on him, or you should not even have him in your kingdom in the first place. If a lords likes you and does not show up, then you failed to give your lords enough time to take care of their fiefs in the feast/campaign/recruit/manage fiefs cycle.
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Also, I do not run my feasts for days, nor do I wait there for the lords to arrive. I start the feast, I go do something nearby (kill outlaws, fend off raiders, etc.) then come back, meet and greet, and when that's done, I start a campaign.
This goes on until one of my neighbors declares war and everyone is already all gathered up.
If you hold them in towns, you also get 3 or 4 tournaments a day. That pays for all the food, and lords and companions will get a little experience and weapon skill increases from it.
Oh yeah, and your guests bring you their prisoners that you can then ransom off.
If it is in your inventory, the troops can get at it, and it rots.
If it is in your fief's chest, the food is safe from both troops and guests. This is where I keep my campaign provisions - it is important that you campaign with a good food selection, for morale. So after a point in the game, usually in mid game, i start buying all food I come across, and stashing it everywhere - enterprises, walled fiefs, wife's larder, etc. It's not a big expense, and it comes in handy.