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That said, I doubt that the install order is what's upsetting your launcher. Remember that the launcher relies on Java, .Net, Internet Explorer, and Flash, I believe. You will definitely want to ensure all those are up to date on your computer. Also, be sure your firewall/anti-virus isn't interfering with it (it could be worth turning it off temporarily just to see if the launcher behaves, so you know whether that's an issue).
One thing you didn't mention: Entirely removing (or renaming) your Documents directory's copy of "The Sims 3" folder (inside the "Electronic Arts" folder). I'd totally move that out and have the game regenerate everything as one attempt to troubleshoot this problem.
RE: Going to Origin: You can take your Steam keys there; I'm not sure how the install order works though.
RE: Getting a refund: probably not. It's just not how it works with games these days. Pretty much once you put down the money, it's up to you to get it working, or not. (I think it's a crap system but that's just how it is.)
Finally: Steam Support is probably not the place to go for help with a broken TS3 game. You'll want to go through EA support, as terrible and unhelpful as they are. If all else fails, it's at least worth a shot so your money isn't wasted.
So, when you say the "launcher broke", how far does it get? What happens? Are there any error messages?
Did you go through the PITA of updating all those dependencies the launcher has?
If you need the install order to be correct add the key for the base game first, then the key for the expansions in order and just incase install the expansions before adding the next expansion.