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However, when it comes to washing dishes in the washroom rather than the kitchen, normally if you have a dishwasher, they will use the dishwasher rather than the sink.
Also, sims are used to washing dishes in the sink closest to where they eat. Maybe you can move the dining room or the bathroom.
I also noticed that the sims tend to use the last table bought to eat.
Maybe it could be an idea to buy another sink to see if they will use the new one first.
Hope this will be useful to you.
If a sim already has the Hungry moodlet, it is harder to stop them from doing their own thing concerning food, unless you watch them carefully and use the pause button a lot to cancel any attempts to feed themselves in a different way than what you want. The hungrier they are, the more likely they are to take matters into their own hands.
It's not a perfect solution since you may still have to cancel out some actions, but it'll at least cut down on the frequency.
Anyway, I always have the cook prepare a group meal and stick all leftovers in the fridge. Sometimes I will have the cook make 2 or 3 group meals. That way, if somebody is hungry, they reach for the leftovers first and still get the "happy meal" moodlet. My first sim family in sunset valley managed to upgrade their fridge to the nicest one, so food doesn't spoil and nothing is wasted.
I like Puzzleaddict's suggestion about the kitchen layout but I'm too picky about decorating for that to be a viable option for me. :P