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http://answers.ea.com/t5/The-Sims-3/FAQ-Lost-and-broken-DVDs-and-missing-serial-codes-What-to-do/td-p/14230
because the Origin and thesims3.com are the only way to use your cd-key from Disk/Disc
https://help.ea.com/en/contact-us/new/
If you registered your game to your account, it should be easy to get the code. If not, they'll give you a new code if you can proof that you own the game.
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=628506758
Okay I figured it out, thanks for all your help!
In reality, the real reason is that Disk and Origin based games install registry keys under a different name than the Steam version does. This means when the Origin/Disk versions look for an install, if it's been done by Steam, they can't find it and don't think it's there. (And vice versa.)
The guide, above, walks you through adding a second copy of the registry entries to the place Origin/Disks expect to find them.