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Someone will answer when they have time and know the answer.
There is probably a mod out there somewhere that will do what you want, but I don't know for sure and perhaps someone who uses one will chime in to confirm. In the meantime, your best bet would be to search at modthesims.info and (a surprisingly good source for Sims 3 appearance mods) Pinterest.
You can reshape the eyes with a different mod, though. The MasterController mod from NRaas (nraas.wikispaces.com) comes with its own version of Create-a-Sim that includes a reasonably decent set of sliders. I'd also recommend the Cheats add-on just for its usefulness, but I don't think it's required for this. Anyway, after installing the mod (just ask if you need help with that, but the instructions at NRaas are pretty clear and straightforward) and going into your saved game, click the Sim you want to modify and select NRaas->Master Controller->Advanced->Edit in CAS. On the eyes tab, click the magnifying glass to enable the NRaas sliders and ignore presets. The first slider says "Alien Eyes" and you'll want to crank that down to zero. There is also a random modifier for Alien Eyes that you'll want to turn down to zero.
From there, you'll need to deal with the color issue and this is where I'm not sure how the game handles it. The texture used for alien eyes is just shiny black with no iris or pupils and is probably tied to the life state of the Sim. In your case the life state would be Alien. I don't know whether Master Controller lets you ignore that linkage and replace the texture or whether you'd need to get a separate texture mod to replace or supplement the game's default. I'm betting that you'll need a separate texture mod, but could very easily be wrong.
On the hybrid issue, the short answer is yes; you can have a baby with a human Sim and an Alien. It works a bit differently than Sim-Supernatural pairings, but the game allows it without mods.