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^^
Engine limitations my dude. I have a server but it's more "Laid back" with it's settings so idk if you'd enjoy it if you're playing "hardcore"
Its because in a solo or private game, your computer is being used as the server and most likely can't handle the whole map being active at once. So everything gets tethered to the host. Thats how these kind of game work. If you don't want tethering, you need to play on a proper server.
The tethering system in co-op has been in the game for a very long time, this isn't something new. I don't disagree that they're ruining the game these days but you dug up a thread that is nearly 5 years old.
Well, it's not that most computers can't handle it, it's because of the way they designed the co-op system to run off a single instance of the game on the host's PC. You can run the client and dedicated server software on the same PC, I did it a few years ago with a low end gaming laptop and it worked very well, no issues at all. I even had several other people join me while I played on the PC that was also hosting the server. This gets around the tethering issue completely. You can google instructions on how to do this.