Welcome to the Internet - TF2 parody

[Scover]

I wrote a parody of "Welcome to the Internet" (Bo Burnham).

Originally posted by Scover:

Welcome to Team Fortress!
Have a look around
Any cosmetic that brain of yours can think of can be found
We got mountains of servers
Some better some worse
If none of it's interest to you you wouldn't be the first!

Welcome to Team Fortress!
Come and take a seat
Would you like to join casual or try out competitive?
There's no need to killbind; this isn't a test, haha
Just click on start game, and we'll do the rest

Welcome to Team Fortress!
What would you prefer?
Would you like to fight for friendlies rights or become a bot hoster?
Be winning! Be loosing! Be bursting with rage!
We got as much as 9 classes you can play

Welcome to Team Fortress, put your health aside
Here's a tip for playing trolldier, here's an f2p who died
We got trading, and crafting, and custom gamemodes
And a bunch of colored pencil drawings of a female version of Pyro with gianormous breasts- Welcome to Team Fortress!

Hold on to your guns
'Cause a random guy just kindly sprayed photos of his ♥♥♥♥
They are grainy and off-putting
He just sprayed some more
Don't act suprised you know you like it you ♥♥♥♥♥

See a player kicked, get offended, pet a seal
Complain loudly on the forums, spend all your money on stamps
Get headshotted eat chocolate or send a death threat to a tryhard
Delete an golden pan buy a key and open a crate in your-

Here's an OP layout option, you should kill friendlies
Here's why Medics never heal you, here's how to A-pose
Which class do you main? Take this quirky quizz!
Gaben sent the f2ps to destroy your buildings

Could I interest you in gaming, all of the time?
Just a little bit of gaming, all of the time
Touching grass is tragedy and capping is a crime
Playing and gaming, all of the time

Could I interest you in gaming, all of the time?
Just a little bit of gaming, all of the time
Touching grass is tragedy and capping is a crime
Playing and gaming, all of the time

You know, it wasn't always like this

Not very long ago, just before your time
Right before the crisis stroke, circa 07'
This was paid gamemodes, update logs, a class hat or two
We set our sights and spent our nights Waiting...
For you,
You,
Insatiable you
Mommy bought you this new game
You were barely two

And it did all the things we designed it to do
Now, look at you, ah
Look at you
You, you! Unstoppable, watchable
Your time is now, your PC's on, honey, how you grew
And if we stick together, who knows what we'll do?
It was always the plan to put a gun in your hand.

Ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Hahahaha

Could I interest you in gaming, all of the time?
Just a little bit of gaming, all of the time
Touching grass is tragedy and capping is a crime
Playing and gaming, all of the time

Could I interest you in gaming, all of the time?
Just a little bit of gaming, all of the time
Touching grass is tragedy and capping is a crime
Playing and gaming
And playing and gaming
And playing and gaming
All of the time.

What do you think? Do these lyrics embody the epitome of Team Fortresss 2 and its community?

[RedReimu]

No

[Scover]

Originally posted by RedReimu:

No

why. i spent time on this

[[☭]-Soviet-Triumph-]

Originally posted by Scover:

why. i spent time on this

I'm not trying to like, offend you or anything, so I apologize in advance, but this is cringe.

[idk i don't play tf2]

Originally posted by Scover:

Originally posted by RedReimu:

No

why. i spent time on this

It's good :)

[Guilion]

This is so cringe

[Der tüddelige Fußgänger]

Jeez, so much text. I ain't read this in the evening.

[Jaxanine The Gnome Queen]

its not that bad but I think improvements could be made

[idk i don't play tf2]

Originally posted by Guilion:

This is so cringe

Plz don't say that that person has spend time and effort into this

[Scover]

Originally posted by Heavy is inside your wall:

Originally posted by Guilion:

This is so cringe

Plz don't say that that person has spend time and effort into this

okay, I admit it didn't take that long to make. it's just that i really like the original song as it describes how f*cked up the internet is and i think this applies to tf2 as well.

[rocketgreentea]

bro what the ♥♥♥♥ is this LMAO

[mesabuild]

if you can read this without taking breaks it means you dont have a bad attention span

[KennyAtom]

booo

booo

worst song ever

[ɐǝ⅄]

Originally posted by RedReimu:

No

[Toastwyrm]

Get a heavy tf2 vocaloid to sing it at least. My little brain cant read so much