The Funniest TF2 Player Quote You've Heard?

[Charlie5L]

What are the funniest quotes relating to TF2 have you heard players say?

Just for good measure, I would like to say Trade Bots, Staff, F2Ps, and trending binds should not count.

The funniest things I've heard from other gamers:

"Fifty Shades of Graymann."
"Help! I accidentally bought an unusual!"
"I have a fear of flying Demomen."
"The Force-a-Nature is the best Scout primary."
"Phlogistinator with airblast only instead of fire."
"The community isn't horrible. There really are some good people on there. The forums, however..."
"Machina is better than Hitman's Heatmaker."
"Hitman's Heatmaker is better than Machina."
"Random crits are only fair and balanced for melee weapons."
"Go back to CS:GO, you idiot!"
"Go back to COD, you idiot!"
"Go back to... Go to trade servers, you idiot!"
"When everyone has an unusual, strange, or an Aussie and all you have is a Vintage Pyrovision Goggles."
"How would a Strange Professional Killstreak Rocket Jumper work?"
"I love how there are community servers that don't allow you to swear. It's probably run by very sensitive people."
"Does anyone even use keys to open the Mann Co. Crates?"
"Help! I used a key to open a crate and all I got was a pistol!"
"The only time I know I'm good at TF2 is when I kill a hacker. Other than that, I suck."
"It scares me wondering where does Scout get a baseball from when he can't find the one he launched."
"I bet Bonk! Atomic Punch tastes better than the energy drinks we have today."
"If you play friendly, you're kicked. If you play normal, you're kicked. If you hack, you stay."
"Is it possible to scam a scammer who's scamming a scammer while scamming?"
"I got married on TF2... Now how do I raise a family on TF2?"
"When Scout has a nicer butt than you."

That's just about the funniest things I've heard from TF2 players in-game.

[Amoeba_lord]

"Do me harder" they were making loud thumping noises, breathing heavily, and there were two of them, they were promptly vote-kicked

[andresfgp13]

"you are like the pacific ocean, so full of salt".

[Fly]

"Anyone wanna trade?"
"Yeah. I'd like to trade you for someone who FU..ING PLAYS THE DAMN GAME!"

[Spinostafrikanotosuchuonymimus]

I don't remember, but having someone call the Huntsman OP is pretty funny.