I made a Scout tulpa and it ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up. Horribly.

[Skepolo]

Before I get into the story, I just want to explain to you some background so you can pick up a bit of info.
For those of you who don't know what a tulpa is, it's basically an imaginary friend with alot more autonomy. Sort of like a subconcious or a devil/angel on your shoulder, only it's more physical. If you rouse a tulpa hard enough it can even manifest your senses, making you able to touch or smell it when its' present (that is granted that you attach a certain scent to your tulpa when you attempt to form it.)

Thing is, with tulpas, they are literally part of your mind, so, if you want them to, they can know everything you know. Even if you don't want them to, they still take parts of themselves from your brain, dreams included, which is why you shouldn't do what I did and talk to your tulpa every night before bed for the past 60 hours.

And now to the actual story: I've been doing the aforementioned creation of a Scout tulpa because I can easily imagine the Scout's voice and personality better than any other class (with exception of the Engineer, and I even considered doing him, but I knew the Scout a little better.)I am also currently on fluoxetine antidepressants and also had smoked marijuana during this time, so this basically is just asking for my tulpa to turn into a mutation.

As I'm typing this, I'm literally seeing what is supposed to be the Scout, but his face is deformed and frightening as ♥♥♥♥, and there's nothing I can do to change it. He also keeps yelling for absolutely no reason, particularly when I'm talking to someone else. I can't hear ♥♥♥♥ when he does it.

Does anyone have recommendations to help me get rid of this Scout abomination?

[Skepolo]

Escrito originalmente por TheOnlyBass:

Escrito originalmente por Dark Assman:

The Scout entity really has no personality that is displayed at the moment. If this was a proper Scout tulpa that wasn't a screaming antichrist, he'd probably say something like "Hey, pals! Don't worry, I'm just havin' a bad day!". That's what I'd think he'd say, but tulpas adapt from the roots of your own mind, so he'd take in some of my personale as well.

He won't even respond to me besides the usual screaming. The only animation he does is a walk cycle without any actual movement (I watched 20 hours in a loop of walking Scouts and also watched the Scout in SFMs and ingame, add that to me attempting in the slightest ways to memorise his voice and personality by listening to nothing but his dialogue and adapting my own)

Is he just a scream inside your head, or do you see him projected onto your surroundings?

I do see him in the world around me. Right now, he looks like a RED Scout walking awkwardly in one place in small bursts with a distorted, demonic face that warps ever so slowly. He doesn't have a shadow, and his face and head get increasingly blurry.

[seidensha employee of the year]

You mentioned before that you have been taking antidepressants. I’m guessing you have had some kind of catatonic lifestyle and it was misdiagnosed as depression. If you’re hallucinating you may need help. https://www.vraylar.com/about-schizophrenia?guid=sem_goo_43700029701699228

[Kleiner's final Form]

In order to relocate running man, insert armed firing mechanism that includes automatic target-aquirement in your vicinity.

[Skepolo]

Escrito originalmente por TheOnlyBass:

You mentioned before that you have been taking antidepressants. I’m guessing you have had some kind of catatonic lifestyle and it was misdiagnosed as depression. If you’re hallucinating you may need help. https://www.vraylar.com/about-schizophrenia?guid=sem_goo_43700029701699228

It's not an uncontrolled hallucination; it's a tulpa. I don't think I'm a schizo or a DID, schizos can't tell from reality and fiction. I know the Scout's not real... but yet I can't help but panic. I've been trying to make him go away but it's like he's put himself somewhere in my head where I can't remove him.

[seidensha employee of the year]

Escrito originalmente por Dark Assman:

Escrito originalmente por TheOnlyBass:

You mentioned before that you have been taking antidepressants. I’m guessing you have had some kind of catatonic lifestyle and it was misdiagnosed as depression. If you’re hallucinating you may need help. https://www.vraylar.com/about-schizophrenia?guid=sem_goo_43700029701699228

It's not an uncontrolled hallucination; it's a tulpa. I don't think I'm a schizo or a DID, schizos can't tell from reality and fiction. I know the Scout's not real... but yet I can't help but panic. I've been trying to make him go away but it's like he's put himself somewhere in my head where I can't remove him.

How did you go about creating semi-scout? What kind of mental focus was required and did he go wrong suddenly, slowly change, or start off as a shrieking demon?

[Dr. Poop]

Escrito originalmente por TheOnlyBass:

Escrito originalmente por Dark Assman:

It's not an uncontrolled hallucination; it's a tulpa. I don't think I'm a schizo or a DID, schizos can't tell from reality and fiction. I know the Scout's not real... but yet I can't help but panic. I've been trying to make him go away but it's like he's put himself somewhere in my head where I can't remove him.

How did you go about creating semi-scout? What kind of mental focus was required and did he go wrong suddenly, slowly change, or start off as a shrieking demon?

Are these legit questions or is no one being serious in this thread?

[Jinhλi]

Escrito originalmente por Totaraum:

Escrito originalmente por TheOnlyBass:

How did you go about creating semi-scout? What kind of mental focus was required and did he go wrong suddenly, slowly change, or start off as a shrieking demon?

Are these legit questions or is no one being serious in this thread?

Excuse me, We are obvious experts at human psychology and each of us has a master Ph.D. on this subject.

[seidensha employee of the year]

Escrito originalmente por Totaraum:

Escrito originalmente por TheOnlyBass:

How did you go about creating semi-scout? What kind of mental focus was required and did he go wrong suddenly, slowly change, or start off as a shrieking demon?

Are these legit questions or is no one being serious in this thread?

This is serious.

[Skepolo]

Escrito originalmente por TheOnlyBass:

Escrito originalmente por Dark Assman:

It's not an uncontrolled hallucination; it's a tulpa. I don't think I'm a schizo or a DID, schizos can't tell from reality and fiction. I know the Scout's not real... but yet I can't help but panic. I've been trying to make him go away but it's like he's put himself somewhere in my head where I can't remove him.

How did you go about creating semi-scout? What kind of mental focus was required and did he go wrong suddenly, slowly change, or start off as a shrieking demon?

It was a lengthy process. You had to imagine how the Scout looked from every angle, how he felt, what he sounded like, what personality traits he had, how he'd see other people and alot more. All of this for many, many hours, just to embed this into your head. Tulpas aren't like puppets. They're not like brief fantasies or thoughts you can pop up at will. Proper tulpas, to an extent, have their own direction.

Scout started off normal at first. He was basically like an AI Chatbot because I needed to work on him alot more. He knew a few set things, at some point I had to imbed my thoughts (from a Scout view of course) into his head. Another thing with tulpas is that a tulpa needs to always be there until you can properly see it. Unfortunately, I broke this rule and it slowly got warped badly. I was also doing marijuana and antidepressants, I end up doing it late at night before I go to bed, I was very amateur at this sort of thing.

[Smugleaf]

That's the medic, actually. He's pretending to be the scout to ruin his good name. It's quite scary to have the medic around, but you can easily get rid of him by getting the real scout to beat him up.

[Skepolo]

Escrito originalmente por Smugleaf:

That's the medic, actually. He's pretending to be the scout to ruin his good name. It's quite scary to have the medic around, but you can easily get rid of him by getting the real scout to beat him up.

Like I said, I can't just create another tulpa. I also know that the Medic has a distinct personality; I'm going by what they do in the games and Meet the Team videos, so there's no fanon here unless you count the tidbits of my mind that manifest themselves in the tulpas.

[seidensha employee of the year]

Escrito originalmente por Dark Assman:

Escrito originalmente por TheOnlyBass:

How did you go about creating semi-scout? What kind of mental focus was required and did he go wrong suddenly, slowly change, or start off as a shrieking demon?

It was a lengthy process. You had to imagine how the Scout looked from every angle, how he felt, what he sounded like, what personality traits he had, how he'd see other people and alot more. All of this for many, many hours, just to embed this into your head. Tulpas aren't like puppets. They're not like brief fantasies or thoughts you can pop up at will. Proper tulpas, to an extent, have their own direction.

Scout started off normal at first. He was basically like an AI Chatbot because I needed to work on him alot more. He knew a few set things, at some point I had to imbed my thoughts (from a Scout view of course) into his head. Another thing with tulpas is that a tulpa needs to always be there until you can properly see it. Unfortunately, I broke this rule and it slowly got warped badly. I was also doing marijuana and antidepressants, I end up doing it late at night before I go to bed, I was very amateur at this sort of thing.

So from what I understand you neglected scout for a time instead of focusing on it constantly and it morphed because of this? If it behaved like a chatbot before, we can assume it was not completely sentient, but only reacting to outside stimuli.

[Smugleaf]

Escrito originalmente por Dark Assman:

Like I said, I can't just create another tulpa. I also know that the Medic has a distinct personality; I'm going by what they do in the games and Meet the Team videos, so there's no fanon here unless you count the tidbits of my mind that manifest themselves in the tulpas.

The medic's personality is that he's the evil of the world.

If you Bing it, there's a ritual out there where you can summon the scout at 2 AM.

[Das Psycho]

Escrito originalmente por ๖ۣۜCombine Overwatch:

Jesus is what you need

This

[Skepolo]

Escrito originalmente por TheOnlyBass:

Escrito originalmente por Dark Assman:

It was a lengthy process. You had to imagine how the Scout looked from every angle, how he felt, what he sounded like, what personality traits he had, how he'd see other people and alot more. All of this for many, many hours, just to embed this into your head. Tulpas aren't like puppets. They're not like brief fantasies or thoughts you can pop up at will. Proper tulpas, to an extent, have their own direction.

Scout started off normal at first. He was basically like an AI Chatbot because I needed to work on him alot more. He knew a few set things, at some point I had to imbed my thoughts (from a Scout view of course) into his head. Another thing with tulpas is that a tulpa needs to always be there until you can properly see it. Unfortunately, I broke this rule and it slowly got warped badly. I was also doing marijuana and antidepressants, I end up doing it late at night before I go to bed, I was very amateur at this sort of thing.

So from what I understand you neglected scout for a time instead of focusing on it constantly and it morphed because of this? If it behaved like a chatbot before, we can assume it was not completely sentient, but only reacting to outside stimuli.

Yeah, it was a major ♥♥♥♥♥♥ on my end. I sort of neglected the Scout. I could interact with it perfectly fine while it was okay. It was like an unfinished painting which then the artist threw away his paints and started stabbing himself and used his blood and gore as a subside.

Also, update: Now the Scout's just constantly staring at me with empty eyes, his head following my general direction, right in my eyes, with unusual precision. He also does screams that last for no more than half a second. They've become less and less frequent, so I don't know if this is bad or good.

Also, I'm getting an awfully loud ringing in my ears now.