The sad life of medic mains

[Fritz]

DISCLAIMER: The following passage is written in a satirical manner and is not meant to offend anyone. If you are easily offended leave now. We good to go? Yea? Great!

Medic mains, we are a rare breed. Almost endangered in casual matchmaking. We die more than that f2p sniper who doesn’t know how the machina works. We are backstabbed, blown up, hunted by enemy scouts and pyros, airblasted and so on. We die making sure our teammates can outlast our respawn timer. And trust me when I say this, medic is a difficult class to main. I mean if it were easy it would be called soldier not medic (yes I know that is an array seven joke ♥♥♥♥ing fight me). Yes soldier I’m healing you stop punching the e key. OH MY GOD STOP HITTING E DO YOU NOT SEE YOU ARE BEING OVER HEALED?! And he just rocket jumped *le sigh*. Soldiers you yell at us for using the quick fix but then get mad when we do not fly into combat with you after you rocket jump. Sniper you only took 20 damage go find a med kit. The real medic mains never take a ammo box unless it is absolutely urgent (which is rarer than a Saxxy on a trade server). So please do not grab that med kit if you have a pocket medic. More often than not we need it a bit more than you do.

We are most often given a giant middle finger in more ways than one. Pyros if you see we are on fire please oh PLEASE airblast is to extinguish the flames. It helps a lot. Unless you are using the phlog in which case stop using the laughing taunt or no heals for you! Thank you jarate sniper! We tell you our Uber is ready. Please do not just stand there and ask for Uber. We charge it once we are right at the gates of fire to maximize enemy casualties. Why are you running the other way?! The sentry nest is over there! Other medic stop pocketing m...UGH! Scout stand still you jumpy bugger I can’t frigging heal you! If you know we are using the quick fix then please let us know before you do a rocket/detonator/sticky/jet pack jump. You never know when someone has vertigo. It’s just a nice little warning so we don’t freak out mid air and veer off into that enemy phlog pyro. If you are a heavy please for the sake of what is holy do not eat that sandvich if we are pocketing you. Chances are we medics need it a tad bit more. Besides we are healing. And to the heavies who do throw that sandvich in our face...thank you, you are amazing and we love ya for it. Also engie please do not call for a medic. You have a dispenser. Unless it is destroyed or you are being chased please do not hit E. That only alerts enemies to your position.

And soldier for the love of god please do not rocket jump after we Uber you unless we are using the quick fix. That just wastes our Uber.

And one last thing. A thank you every now and then would be awesome. I mean we did only give you a bunch of health (and if you are like me, probably took a crocket or two to save your teammate).

Also just a small tip for you medic mains; if you see that you got a pretty good demoknight then ubering him with the kritzkreig is just awesome as all hell because if they know how to demoknight then you are in for some serious points.

Thank you guys for reading this passage. If you liked it and want me to do more like this than let me know. If so then either scout or engie will be next.

[MichaHil]

this is my life

[Deneris]

Medic mains seem to be perceived as walking health packs by some players- Use it, then leave it behind to get torched, stabbed, shot, or beaten to death with a fish.

[mishael1]

Medic mains aren't as rare as people make them out to be, and being a Medic isn't unfun at all in my opinion.

[bouchon]

Let’s be honest, someone is probably a pretty sad person if they choose to main medic and deal with all of this in the first place.

We still need and appreciate them though.

[mishael1]

Originally posted by napoleon complex:

Let’s be honest, someone is probably a pretty sad person if they choose to main medic and deal with all of this in the first place.

We still need and appreciate them though.

Excuse me for playing the most potent class in the game, apparently this makes me a sad person.

[Seren]

I main Medic because everyone loves Medic and no one loves me.

[Zilkenian Davenport]

And people ask me why do I hate my main.

[mishael1]

Originally posted by Dimm Nogal:

And people ask me why do I hate my main.

Why do you hate your main?

[seraph]

Heavy mains get the short end of the stick too

[Zilkenian Davenport]

Originally posted by mishael1:

Originally posted by Dimm Nogal:

And people ask me why do I hate my main.

Why do you hate your main?

I hate my main (Medic) because of what exactly Chronos wrote here.
Playing Medic is no longer a game, it's a chore for me.

[mishael1]

Originally posted by Dimm Nogal:

Originally posted by mishael1:

Why do you hate your main?

I hate my main (Medic) because of what exactly Chronos wrote here.
Playing Medic is no longer a game, it's a chore for me.

Play other classes then. You should have fun.

I too change classes often to keep Medic fresh for me.

[Zilkenian Davenport]

Originally posted by mishael1:

Originally posted by Dimm Nogal:

I hate my main (Medic) because of what exactly Chronos wrote here.
Playing Medic is no longer a game, it's a chore for me.

Play other classes then. You should have fun.

I too change classes often to keep Medic fresh for me.

I play my second main, Scout, and my third, Sniper (mostly Scout for obvious reasons). Still, I left TF2, playing only from time to time.
I just came here to leave my opinion about how much truth is in that text.

[greentext]

Originally posted by Deneris:

Medic mains seem to be perceived as walking health packs by some players- Use it, then leave it behind to get torched, stabbed, shot, or beaten to death with a fish.

This, plus no love if you do your job, all the rage if you don't please everyone. No-one likes to be beaten to death with a fish.

Also: anyone else find out-of-skirmish teammates spamming E in some kind of effort to use Morse Code? (Generally at once, or while currently overhealing, or at full health and at different ends of the map. Calm down princesses, I might have an off-screen track record of raising New Zealanders from the dead but I'm not *actually* magic. You probably want Pyro for that.)

If only there were a way to communicate 'I'm going to go shoot at that sentry, help me Not Die' by something more explanatory than 'hitting E many times', 'jumping' and 'running off cliffs and screaming'. I must be missing a clue? Perhaps the secret is hidden under the mic button, or in this entire keyboard full of letters. Maybe even the chat window or this set of bound voice commands. It's a mystery.

[rept]

the sad life of not getting any heals because my hats arent fancy enough despite me having double the score of the dude with 3 unusuals

[Experiment 149]

Im a sniper main. This allows me to be a more potent healer by being able to land crossbow shots correctly and knowing how to position myself to not get hit by damage from spam. I enjoy playing medic, but only when i have one person who knows how to defend their medic.