INT. ATLAS OFFICE – TIMELESS VORTEX OF SATIRE AND STONE DESTRUCTION

[SCREENWRITER enters, carrying a massive, historically inaccurate scroll. EXECUTIVE is building a tiny catapult out of office supplies.]

EXECUTIVE:
So you have a video game for me?

SCREENWRITER:
Yes sir I do! It’s called Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder and it’s what happens if Mario Kart, Age of Empires, and an art history major all fall down the stairs together.

EXECUTIVE:
Wow wow wow wow wow! That sounds like absolute chaos!

SCREENWRITER:
It is! But, like, organized chaos with a hint of Dadaism and several explosions.

EXECUTIVE:
I’m listening.

SCREENWRITER:
So you play as a giant boulder with a face and a dream.

EXECUTIVE:
A face and a dream?

SCREENWRITER:
Yeah! And your dream is to roll down long, winding ramps and absolutely demolish the gates of famous historical figures like Napoleon or Joan of Arc.

EXECUTIVE:
That feels... historically suspicious.

SCREENWRITER:
Oh, absolutely. But don’t worry—we cover it all in a Monty Python-style animation that makes it look like a college art textbook got drunk and joined an improv troupe.

EXECUTIVE:
That’s the best kind of visual style!

SCREENWRITER:
Exactly. So while you’re crashing through statues and cows, Van Gogh’s severed ear might be giving a monologue.

EXECUTIVE:
That’s probably accurate, right?

SCREENWRITER:
Emotionally, yes.

EXECUTIVE:
So what's the gameplay like?

SCREENWRITER:
Well, the game has two parts. First, you’re building defenses to stop your opponent’s giant rolling rock. Cannons, springboards, elephants with jetpacks...

EXECUTIVE:
Sorry, did you say elephants with jetpacks?

SCREENWRITER:
No, but now I really wish I had.

EXECUTIVE:
Please continue.

SCREENWRITER:
Then, when your enemy’s done making a boulder-smashing obstacle course for you, you take turns rolling your boulder down their path, dodging their traps and trying to hit their castle door hard enough to reduce it to medieval rubble.

EXECUTIVE:
So it's like Tower Defense meets Tony Hawk’s Pro Siege Weapon?

SCREENWRITER:
Exactly! We even have different types of boulders with unique stats.

EXECUTIVE:
Stats like “Rollingness” and “Smashitude”?

SCREENWRITER:
Basically! Some are faster, some are heavier, some are on fire because why not?

EXECUTIVE:
That’s a good reason!

SCREENWRITER:
We even have a boulder that’s literally a giant wheel of cheese.

EXECUTIVE:
Cheese?

SCREENWRITER:
Yeah, it rolls poorly and breaks easily, but emotionally? It’s perfect.

EXECUTIVE:
So there’s strategy?

SCREENWRITER:
Oh yeah—where you place defenses, which boulder you choose, how you use momentum—it’s got real gameplay depth... sandwiched between animated jokes about Aristotle being flattened by a giant rock.

EXECUTIVE:
Sounds amazing. What about the story?

SCREENWRITER:
There is technically a story! It’s mostly just stringing together absurd historical parodies with animated cutscenes that look like Terry Gilliam sneezed on a textbook.

EXECUTIVE:
Historical accuracy?

SCREENWRITER:
Zero percent.

EXECUTIVE:
Perfect.

SCREENWRITER:
It’s more like, “Here’s Sigmund Freud, but he’s floating on a cloud made of Freudian slips and yelling about rocks.” That kind of thing.

EXECUTIVE:
Solid. So is this game multiplayer?

SCREENWRITER:
Absolutely! You can go 1v1 or even 2v2, which is like Super Monkey Ball meets Wacky Races but with more strategy and the constant threat of falling off a cliff.

EXECUTIVE:
And what happens when you fall off a cliff?

SCREENWRITER:
You lose some time and probably your dignity.

EXECUTIVE:
Understandable.

SCREENWRITER:
Multiplayer is where it really shines though. There's nothing quite like watching your friend’s boulder get flung into a flaming goat pit while yours majestically obliterates their front door.

EXECUTIVE:
So you get to hurt your friends emotionally and structurally?

SCREENWRITER:
That’s the dream.

EXECUTIVE:
And what if someone wants to play alone?

SCREENWRITER:
There’s a full campaign! It’s silly and weird and gives you new stuff as you progress. You even unlock new traps, boulders, and historical figures to satirize.

EXECUTIVE:
Satirizing historical figures is tight.

SCREENWRITER:
It really is. Also, there’s a time trial mode and leaderboards for those competitive types who want to be the fastest boulder on the leaderboard.

EXECUTIVE:
So the game appeals to both chaos goblins and tryhards?

SCREENWRITER:
Exactly! We’re hitting every niche: artists, historians, destruction enthusiasts, physics nerds, and anyone who has ever wanted to flatten Plato with a flaming rock.

EXECUTIVE:
So what are the downsides?

SCREENWRITER:
Well, some of the humor might not land for everyone, especially if they didn’t have a poster of René Magritte in their dorm room.

EXECUTIVE:
That’s fair.

SCREENWRITER:
And sometimes the physics can get a little... weird.

EXECUTIVE:
Weird how?

SCREENWRITER:
Like, your boulder will hit a ramp and then launch into space, clip through a Renaissance chapel, and land in a field of catapults pointed at you.

EXECUTIVE:
Is that... bad?

SCREENWRITER:
No, it’s hilarious. But also slightly unfair. But also still hilarious.

EXECUTIVE:
I do enjoy laughing while being betrayed by gravity.

SCREENWRITER:
Who doesn’t?

EXECUTIVE:
So what do we call this absurd masterpiece?

SCREENWRITER:
Rock of Ages 2: Bigger & Boulder.

EXECUTIVE:
That’s a rock pun!

SCREENWRITER:
It sure is, sir. And it’s a bold one.

EXECUTIVE:
Well, this sounds like the most brilliantly dumb and artistically inspired game I’ve ever heard of.

SCREENWRITER:
That’s the exact tone we were going for.

[They both get crushed by a cheese boulder. Curtain closes. Some Gregorian chanting in the background for no reason.]