Hired Hands are Traps, change my mind

[Man of Culture]

IMO I believe Hired Hands are the most devious trap ever invented by Derek.

[Bluevoss]

They don't last long (in the jungle) so just let them run a bit ahead of you and tear through monsters. I tend to hold back and let them clear some of the more difficult sections.

Sure, they are dangerous, but hey, this is Spelunky.

[orange08]

It's true, I don't let them out of their coffins anymore because I'm afraid they are going to attack me or crush me with a metal shield, or anger the shopkeepers and get me killed, or throw a rock and have it ricochet on me.

That and also sometimes I set down my items to go do something else, and I don't want them picking up my crossbow or shotgun or whatever.

[CarThief]

I mean, no contest there. Those ♥♥♥♥♥ will kill you all too happily intentionally or "by accident".
Don't ever rob a store selling a Hired Hand, he'll likely shotgun you. He's a much bigger threat then the shopkeeper in that scenario.

Seen one whip Vlad's ghost jar too in Vinny's spelunky videos. Well, atleast those where free compared to the shop-bought ones.

On a slightly less related note... Shortcut 3's requirement of a >>> LIVING <<< Hired Hand is like, a million times harder then the requirement after it. Good lord do they love to suicide to spite you.

[KEEM🍿]

Hired hands have always sucked, fuel for kali.

[a_nevels666]

They're slightly smarter than in Spelunky 1, but they're still too much of a risk except maybe to clear out some traps or sacrifice them.

Originally posted by CarThief:

I mean, no contest there. Those ♥♥♥♥♥ will kill you all too happily intentionally or "by accident".
Don't ever rob a store selling a Hired Hand, he'll likely shotgun you. He's a much bigger threat then the shopkeeper in that scenario.

Seen one whip Vlad's ghost jar too in Vinny's spelunky videos. Well, atleast those where free compared to the shop-bought ones.

On a slightly less related note... Shortcut 3's requirement of a >>> LIVING <<< Hired Hand is like, a million times harder then the requirement after it. Good lord do they love to suicide to spite you.

For the 3rd shortcut you can start from the 2nd shortcut get the shotgun from Tusk's guard in 4-1, and use it to kill the giant fish at the bottom of 4-2, as that always drops a hired hand (and a present) if killed. Also if you pick up and put down the hired hand he'll stay put for a while giving you time to rush to the exit.

[Hoppin]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lycoInf4iE

[Man of Culture]

Originally posted by Nhoppin':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lycoInf4iE

Haha yeah. The only reason I use them is to help kill Vlad if I don't have a lot of items or I just sacrifice them immediately for Kali. Every other time I've spawned on they either turn on me or take my shotgun and refuse to give it up or something.

I think the one death that sparked my post was one of them took my shotgun and attacked a mole but wound up hitting the shopkeeper. I threw a sticky bomb at the shopkeeper in desperation because I was in a bad spot but it landed on the hired help and he literally ran it right back to me and killed me.

[CarThief]

Yeah that's exactly what i did to unlock that particular shortcut, still, it was awful compared to, y'know, bringing a non-sentient object that far, which unlike the hired hand has no desire to seek death or it's own destruction in some other capacity. Christ, think i did that one in one go afterwards. Good thing i was very familiar with Tidepool by then.

Hm... The shortcuts in S2 feel easier to unlock then in S1. Not that i mind.

One death by Hired Hand i'll remember is how i in poor judgement decided to rob a store selling one (maybe i needed a shotgun? I forget). Roped the shopkeep, Hired Hand took the shotgun first and just started blastin' at the shopkeep, meanwhile i was forced to cower behind the register in the corner, and the recoil eventually just brought him so close i got shot too.

Took like a eternity too. Just standing there. Paralyzed, unable to come up with any idea what to do. Interrupt the hired hand and like die, or don't and get shot? Damned if you do, damned if you don't... Well, thankfully it was only in the Dwellings...

[Juno Brier]

Originally posted by a_nevels666:

For the 3rd shortcut you can start from the 2nd shortcut get the shotgun from Tusk's guard in 4-1, and use it to kill the giant fish at the bottom of 4-2, as that always drops a hired hand (and a present) if killed. Also if you pick up and put down the hired hand he'll stay put for a while giving you time to rush to the exit.

You don't even need the shotgun, you can just hide out in the structure in the bottom-right and whip it to death with some patience. The one time I tried the shotgun I ended up killing the hired hand as he came out.

[Baller's Gait]

I usually kill them off if I've already got my 16 sac points and there's no dangerous enemy I can let them handle. They mess up giant spiders with surprising gusto, and it's always nice of them to take a curse in your place. Other than that I would say they almost deliberately try to throw things at you. They also will almost always jump straight into lava.

[AP WOLRD 5 MANIFEST TRUST IN GOD]

The helping hand for the shortcut is super easy if you get to azbu. There's a revive crate in the water below and the exit is right there
Getting them to drop stuff is easy. Pick them up and drop them.

[shamanmick]

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Hired hand: whips something randomly and hits me onto a spike tap to be stunlocked to death.