If you marry Haley...

[Captain Blud]

You should have the option of beatin down that dude, Alex, or whatever his name is. Cripple him or somethin.

[Sara]

Alex and pretty much all the characters in the game who seem shallow or self-centered at first become a lot nicer and you learn why once you friend them more. Alex is sweet after you get to know him.

[Vroomi]

If that's the case, I want the option to beat up Haley after marrying Alex.

[The Y'All Of Us]

Step one: Marry somebody.
Step two: Use their body as a bludgeoning device.
Step three: collect your cut of Harveys' rising medical fees.
Step four: Roll in money.

[Captain Blud]

LoL. The only reason I point Alex out... I think it's Alex, it may be Shane.. but prolly Alex, but anyways, She always talks about him, she sweats him at his gay little icecream stand, even after she's fuggin head over heels for you, she can't stay away from that cat. Look itch, I started with a broken down lil shack and now I got a frickin mansion (not quite) and you don't have to work a day in your life. Stay away from that Backstreet Boy wannabe.

[robruckus65]

arent women allowed to have friends man... they grew up in teh town together so they have way more history than your character and her have... but nah assault him commit a random act of violence because your wife talks about him... Im sure you talk to other female characters in the game maybe she should cripple them...

[Captain Blud]

Damn man, calm down. This is Stardew Valley, not 60 Minutes. Okay, I'll admit, I'm a jealous muhfugga in real life and in this game too. Even if she is just friends, all she does is hang from his balls and talks about him constantly. That would piss any ♥♥♥♥♥ off. I say me and my boy Clint the blacksmith beat him on the face furiously with a gold bar and dump his body in the murky green sewer waters. Let the mutant fish eat away at him.

[Captain Blud]

Wait, got it, better yet. Dice him up and use him as Bait +1 to catch carnivorous fish.

[Rio]

Haley wants you for the money. Alex for the babies.

[Crai-Crai]

Have you considered maybe playing GTA instead of Stardew Valley?

[SilentCaay]

Do yourself a favor and don't actual date anyone IRL. All of the NPCs have friends that they hang out with. Haley and Alex are friends. I usually encourage Penny to hang out with Sam, give him a gift on his bday and whatnot. Jealousy is an ugly thing, man.

[Missy]

Well daz kinda what ya get when ya marry a hoe \_[o_o]_/

[Brebs]

Originally posted by Welss:

Well daz kinda what ya get when ya marry a hoe \_[o_o]_/

so true xD

[Seraphita]

Wait what? You can marry this? How would that even work?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoe_%28tool%29

[SilentCaay]

Don't marry your farming implements. The modding scene has clearly gone too far this time.

[Missy]

*Walks into the kitchen*
*Le pick axe wife Le making pancakes*
*She turns to you and says:*
"Honey, can't you tell? I'm pregnant."