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Make sure you're all on the same version of the game as well.
I imagine we're all on the same version as we've all just reinstalled on steam today.
Lag could have been an issue, but 2-player games always worked fine but 3-player was consistently having issues. We also tried all 3 combinations of 2 players and all were fine.
Hardware I doubt is an issue, we're on gtx 1660ti, 1650ti and 960 with CPUs and RAM of similar level.
I think I had your same issue once. I'd try having everyone restart their routers/modems and PCs. In your case the former might not be possible and let's just hope that it's not the Uni's ♥♥♥♥♥ internet.
Edit: Now that I think of it, the VPN might be the issue. VPNs are huge bandwidth consumers. I'd try installing Hamachi or a virtual LAN of similar caliber on all the players and direct connecting that way instead. VPNs kill ping and dont exactly play nice with GameRanger because i may have tried to use GameRanger with a VPN as well.
At uni I'm hitting a pretty consistent 600mbps upload and download, whilst them at home they have around 60mbps and the ping between us is 30ms. We tried it with an OpenVPN connection on LAN and have also tried gameranger without the VPN active but everyone but the host gets stuck on 'waiting for host' in-game. My dad's hosting on gameranger and he's also ensured that all Stronghold and gameranger ports are open.
It's strange because I've gotten 8-person games working in gameranger before with friends, I just can't remember how we solved the waiting for host issue :/