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For your other concerns, alliance raids are more straight forward where you just need to understand the mechanics of what raid your doing. The ARR raids are what I would suggest to practice on until you get your confidence up. And frankly just tell others in the party your still learning which they will give helpful advice.
If it's a tank-and-spank, OT generally just beats the boss up to be second in the threat meter to be the one to pick up aggro if MT dies or take tankbusters that are aimed at the second in the threat meter.
There are fights where the OT has to do specific things, too. But honestly? I've always found that 'what the tank has to do' to overall be easier than 'what the DPS has to do', because there's a lot you get to just ignore as the tank.
You'll be fine, it's not that hard.
when it comes to the boss ... well thats a whole different story. if you see that the tank of the other team has aggro, deactivate yours for a bit and activate it later, so that tanks dont battle over aggro (which can be bad sometimes)
tho, in general does noone care jumps into the fight and ... it somehow works out. xD
in short, its only important to not fight over aggro when the alliance fights against the boss.
there are usually rules which apply to alliance tank
for example in the sirkus rower against the cerberus dog.
tank C usually tanks the boss, tank B goes with the their team into the Belly and tank A tanks the adds and focuses the Adds when they spawn with the team.
like i said, IT USUALLY is like that and when it comes to the mentitioned alliance raid works it usually always out like this because the community knows how it goes.
but usually is important, dont fight over aggro in the boss fight with other tanks xD.
Most experienced healers are happy to carry the weight IF you let them know you need a bit of help for being new (as long as you're not rude about it). Not all, there's jerks everywhere, but really -- most. If you like being heals more than tank? You will also be fine with that.
As far as being on the playstation goes -- the game is designed as a console game. You can do everything with a controller -- there are high end world first folks that play using a controller -- as long as you practice and get your muscle memory down.
I don't recommend you trying to do extremes or anything until you FEEL like you're getting Good, but regular content you should be fine with a controller. Game is made to play like that.
100% it's a confidence issue, not a skill issue. It's really OK to screw up as you're learning, especially if you let people know you're newish. You got this. :D
also don't forget to run circles around the boss to assert dominance
Spinning the mob is how you generate free electricity though.
https://i.redd.it/jtoltk2wa7q91.png
if you want to MT either keep stance up and ♥♥♥♥ fence with the other tanks or ask in chat
afaik there are no tank swaps in alliance raids atm