Awkward "friend"?

[Jeanne d'Arc]

Long story short.. I've made a certain "friend" and over time he's become too attached to me. His obsession began immediately after our first (and only) voice chat in Discord. I was doing a trial and invited the usual boys and made the mistake of inviting him to join us. He kept complimenting me over and over.

I sarcastically said "damn you're great at Savage trials let's get married" and something in his brain just ticked. He went onto the MogStation a few weeks later and bought me a Platinum Eternal Bond plan and almost every outfit available. I told him to request a refund because I hate to impose on friends and I don't like to be in debt to people anyways. He insisted heavily I "just keep it, you deserve it". I said f-ck it and decided to "marry" him so I could at least get it done with and get a cool chocobo.

Now every time I log on the game he's waiting there in Limsa Lominsa, runs up to me and spams kissing and hug emotes til I teleport away. He even made these custom emotes that says like "hugs his beloved Jeanne d'Arc" & "feels embarassed he's in public but blows a kiss to his beloved Jeanne d'Arc". The moment I get in game he's just there.. waiting for hours and spams party invites until I give in and accept. Then he ask "what are we gonna do today? :)".. it's starting to get annoying and even when I'm not playing he messages me on Discord with weird memes and ask how I slept.. how was dinner... or "Let's do maps! :)" for the 100th time.

What really just set me off was him stating yesterday "I need to tell you something.. it's very important to me. I want to move to the USA and we can do fun stuff together.. or whatever you want." I've considered blocking him but having to face him in game when I just want to relax bothers me. He lives in France so it's not a big deal.. but this guy is super obnoxious and it's not cute anymore when he acts like my slave and calls me "waifu XD".

[VanGoghComplex]

Tell him in no uncertain terms that there is not and will not be any actual romance between the two of you. If he reacts poorly, be ready to block and cut ties. Simple.

[Jeanne d'Arc]

I truly feel sorry for this guy but cutting off all contact might be the best for now.. hopefully he moves on. I'd hate to transfer servers yet again

[Mandodo]

Oh wow dude. That's insane dude. You got a stalker. You might have to just cut and run.

I know it can feel mean but, you got to do what you got to do.

My suggestion, type something up, take your time with it, think about what you want to say, try to include their feelings too, and just send it to them.

It is a 50/50 chance they will just give up and leave you alone but, if you gotta switch servers OR world visit most of the time might be your best option to sever ties if it looks like it's going into "Thriller" movie territory LOL.

[Elazul]

If he knows your lodestone you'll never escape him even if you block him, change your name, and transfer servers. He'll be able to stalk you regardless. This game does a really bad job at handling people like that as do the GM's and Customer Support.

I've seen many stories of people in similar and worse conditions as yours. I hope you didn't tell him your real information or he could stalk you outside the game if things get really bad.

[xabungle]

I hope the Chocobo was worth it.

[Noah]

Wow, what a creep, i recommend cutting ties.

[xxxaziexxx]

Have you ever tried to talk to this person and tell them straight up that you're not interested in a romantic relationship with them and that the constant Discord messages, party invites, emote spam, and gifts they give you make you uncomfortable? Correct me if I'm wrong, but at this point it doesn't even sound like you're necessarily friends with this person, you're just tolerating them to be polite.

This kind of behavior actually makes me think that maybe this person reads social queues poorly or maybe has a mental disorder or disability that prevents them from appropriately relating to other people or maybe they just lack the emotional intelligence to determine when another person might need some space due to age or life experience?

Either way, this person definitely needs to be told exactly how you're feeling with very specific language. I'd encourage you to do that instead of just ghosting the person like some of these comments seem to be suggesting. It allows them to maybe learn something and may get you the relief you're seeking rather than going nuclear and putting yourself in FFXIV Witness Protection with a name and server change. Of course that's certainly still an option, but it seems like a Plan B type of thing to me.

[Himeji]

my mans out here lookin for a crumb of coochie

[Drakzen]

Tell him straight up that he is taking this too serious and you don't feel comfortable and if he keeps it up you'll be left with no other choice but to block them.

[Jeanne d'Arc]

Originally posted by xxxaziexxx:

Have you ever tried to talk to this person and tell them straight up that you're not interested in a romantic relationship with them and that the constant Discord messages, party invites, emote spam, and gifts they give you make you uncomfortable? Correct me if I'm wrong, but at this point it doesn't even sound like you're necessarily friends with this person, you're just tolerating them to be polite.

This kind of behavior actually makes me think that maybe this person reads social queues poorly or maybe has a mental disorder or disability that prevents them from appropriately relating to other people or maybe they just lack the emotional intelligence to determine when another person might need some space due to age or life experience?

Either way, this person definitely needs to be told exactly how you're feeling with very specific language. I'd encourage you to do that instead of just ghosting the person like some of these comments seem to be suggesting. It allows them to maybe learn something and may get you the relief you're seeking rather than going nuclear and putting yourself in FFXIV Witness Protection with a name and server change. Of course that's certainly still an option, but it seems like a Plan B type of thing to me.

You're right, I wasn't sure how to convey our "relationship" but it feels I am just tolerating his presence at this point. I'm going to break it to him tomorrow and just move on. I got this game to enjoy it not feel pressured into fake romance because some guy thinks buying gifts = eternal servitude.

[Woe]

Pretty simple solution you seemed to come to, tell him your not interested, if he goes psycho block him (in-game and outside game), if it escalates past that (in-game) contact a gm (I've heard mixed stories on gms) you have no reason to force yourself to deal with this.