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having said that tho there are a lot of tryhards in casual and that's okay since it's still the same game. doesn't matter if you like it or not, people are going to play the way they want to play and nothing anyone can say or do can stop it. the only thing you need to do is step up your game and get better by paying closer attention. it may not even be what you think it is.
i'll give an example. the best new player will fill betrayed by the mm if he plays against an experienced player that doesn't pay much attention and is having a bad day while eating and checking his twitter at the same time and since he knows a lot more about the game and how to play it will fill like it's tryharding from a less knowledgeable person.
from what you say you want to have a relaxed experience but that will never happen in a game where you fight other people and you win only by destroying your enemy. you either need to find another game that you don't have to fight real people or you can still play smite by playing co-op. there is no shame in that, you still play the game but it's relaxing.
the normal thing to do in a match is : 1) dominate your lane meaning harassing your enemy to force them out of lane and killing them as much as possible 2) steal everything you can from the other team like jungle camps and towers 3) gank and kill enemies 4) group up to gank and farm jungle bosses like gold furry and fire giant, 5) group up to push towers and break into the enemy base,
if you think that any of the points above is a sign of tryharding then you are wrong because it's the normal thing to do in this game, actualy in any moba. as i said there is no shame in playing co-op, you may want to give it a try and see how it goes.