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Talk to him exhaustively... like, literally until he falls asleep each time.
Oh, and...
DRINK THE SOUP
Siegward is next found in a bind in the Cathedral of the Deep. Trapped down a well just outside the Cleansing Shrine bonfire chapel, you need to recover his full Catarina armor from Patches and give it to him there. Do so and he’ll teach you the Rejoice gesture and venture on to Irithyll Valley.
--quoted from my prima guide
Definitely something missing there, as I checked a guide after seeing a message by the well talking about an ally but not seeing anybody in there and he was definitely not in there right away for me. I came back later and he was there, I'm just not sure exactly what triggered the change.
If patches doesn't have the armor for sale you won't get it by killing him.
- Kill the fire demon with him, exhaust dialogue
- Talk to him in the well at Cathedral of the Deep
- Go up the tower in Firelink Shrine, go up the lift and back down. Exhaust dialogue with Patches
- Travel out and back to Firelink shrine, find Patches on the top floor
- Don't forgive him to get a gesture
- Buy Siegward armor set and go throw it in the well
- Send Greirat to Irithyll and go through the spider cave to the kitchen (from Distant Manor)
- Drink estus soup and exhaust dialogue with Siegward
- Go to Irithyll Dungeon and free Siegward from his cell
- Go to the Yhorm boss fight, Siegward will automatically appear in there with you
- Exhaust dialogue after boss fight.
It sounds like you need to go a bit further in the story until you can find him in the well. I don't exactly remember what you need to do, try opening the shortcuts and go see again.