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Matchmaking is based on your lvl and weapon upgrades, so maybe you are not in a populated range on that aspect.
You seem to be close to an area where pvp is more alive, so brace yourself.
And kudos for the post, most beginners start their forum career with whining, not asking for more challenge ;)
1 - Say the invader kills me, what do I lose? And if he kills me, does he go away, or can he keep on ganking and killing me until he wants to leave?
2 - How does covenants work? And which one should I join? What happens if I never join one?
Okay - that MIGHT be more than 2 questions :D
2) It depends on the covenant and they're all basically your preference. Some of them will automatically summon you to fight against people or help people who have been invaded to kill their invaders. Some will have people automatically summoned to you to fight off an invader that enters your game. Some are for co-op and some are for pvp. You really just need to research them a bit on the wiki page because there are a lot of them for different things.
1 - You can be invaded only when you are in ember form, if something kills you, you lose the ember (invaders will take you ember if you die).
2 - Depends on covenants, there are defensive ones (Way of blue and darkmoon), the Aggressive ones (Rosaria), the both way (Sunlight and mound-makers) and the Protective of area (Farron, aldrich, and churc(DLC)). You can rank up in the covenant through some items that you obtain invading or helping someone with bosses (and a lot of other ways). Btw google them for having an idea :)
There are some queslines realted to covennts, some one doesnt like the others, but you will understand while you go on in the game.
Btw join a covenant, the game turns better with online interations :)
2- Some are coop covs, some pvp. I recommend going blind on your first playthrough, but you can check the wiki on the covenants if you really wanna know. Not necessary at all yet though, unless you want blues to help with invaders (no more spoilers)
For now enjoy learning how to experience this obscure masterpiece, and whenever reds come for you just consider it a chance to learn some pvp steez, and expect to be cheesed. It's worth it for you can learn how ppl can fool you as well.
I got my butt handed to me way too many times before being able to stand my ground in pvp, but I would never be able to had I not been smacked by reds enough times. It's how we all dipped our toes in pvp
EDIT
Typing a wall of text just to see 5 other ppl covered everything I try to say already. LOL
One last question now - about NPC invaders? Do they have a purpose other than just killing them and looting them? Should you avoid killing certain ones?
I've only been invaded by one NPC Phantom (Holy Knight Hodrick), but I ran away from him because I saw a video where a guy said not to kill him, but he never explained why.
if you set your game to offline mode you wont be invaded no matter if ember or not. also your weapon upgrade level is important. if you have too high upgrade most invaders get locked out. same for the level you are. also if you do not summon someone (npcs dont count) the invasion chance is pretty low as invaders get priority for worlds with phantoms present. the chance increases the more phantoms you summon.
as for the devs invaders act like a countermeasure to playing the game on easymode (full time coop is basicly that as the monsters and areas are simply not made for 2-3 people at once and youll easly steamroll the whole game with 3 people without any issues) in exchange for makeing the pve a joke you get player invaders to do the mobs job : kill the host.
Certain NPC invaders are a part of quests and can drop some decent weapons, some can also drop gestures. Others just randomly invade at certain areas, and could be entirely avoided if you stay away from said area. Just a little note as well since you mentioned Hodrick, Purple phantoms like him can kill you and any dark spirits that happen to be nearby. Sometimes a Purple phantom can be friendly, sometimes not.