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grade is a secondary type of XP introduced a few generations of games ago, that upon beating the game, it unlocks a "shop" that you can buy things with. usually newgame+ enhancements, or saved game carry overs to newgame+
But here is the catch: in pretty much all Tales games (or at least the recent ones) you can change the difficulty setting in-game, so just adjust it as you see fit for yourself i.e. find the fights so quick and boring? => turn it to harder mode; too hard and tedious? => turn it to easy.
As for the benefits of higher difficulty, IIRC you would most likely get more "bonus EXP" and "grade points" (which is mostly for bonuses for new game+);
Tales of Graces F, however, does gain more tangible rewards as you can acquire more "skill points" from higher difficulty
I know these must sound like gibberish jargons but don't worry.
The TL;DR here is: I wound recommend play at "Normal" first and see how it goes, you can then change it later in the game
Also Grade is usually tied to combos, so the higher the combo count, the more grade you'll earn, which is used in New Game+ to unlock new features and carry overs.
That said, starting at Hard, switching to Chaos once I master the battle system.
Co-op can also make things a little easier and thus may make you want to push up the difficulty a bit. I've actually never played any of the recent "tales of" games solo and I always just put the difficulty at max.Plus grinding is fun with friends and alcohol.
The only reason I can think of why you'd want to play on Hard mode right off the bat is for potential difficulty-related achievements (eg. finishing the game on Hard not only unlocks the Hard mode achievement but also Normal mode achievement at the same time).
Do you have a source for this? If that's the case I might not mess around with difficulties as much. The main reason I played on harder difficulties was to get more EXP and Grade, but if that's not how it works in Zestiria I might reconsider unless I really want a challenge.
http://www.gamefaqs.com/ps3/740217-tales-of-zestiria/faqs/71065
Seems like "Second" is the best difficulty for a first playthrough. From what I know gear mostly comes from drops in Zestiria, so gold is probably a bit less important than in past Tales.