Funny Ark Stories

[Baron O' Beef Dip]

Anyone have any? Heres mine: One day my friend and I were taming this Pteranodon. We were close to the level where we can get the saddle. It was on our island no where near our base. We ran back to the base for narcotics. My friend had a Carno that was following him at this time and when we were at the base he pushed U to have him stop following him. All I saw was his carno going full speed in the direction of the Pteranodon. I tired chasing him down but he was going wayy too fast and going over huge rocks. He finally stopped at the pet we were about to tame and ate him.

[Cole Magnus]

Alas, I only have 6 hours on record. I have yet to experience hilarious stuff.
But, there was one time when I was foraging on the beach in the dark. Suddenly I'm taking damage. I look over to see a raptor attacking me. Naturally I flipped out and jumped into the water.
But he followed me into the water. And then the piranhas came, and death thereafter.

[WildClaw]

My tribe was geting ready to tame our first T-rex ever, and I was left to create the plan to do so. I decided the best course of action and the less likely to fail would be using the argentavis and carry somone who had a good aim. So thats what we did. I flew the giant bird and my friend with bow in hand was carried. We went to fars peak and to the northern face, looking for a t-rex (We wanted a albino one). What our luck, we managed to find one tearing the faces off a herd of mammoth. I dove down and my friend began shooting at the t-rex, grabbing its attention. I soon flew toward the beach, with my friend pelting the t-rex with tranqs. We got quite close to a rock when the t-rex climbed it and was so close to chomping my friend. I managed to ascend in time though. Soon we were at the treeline and the t-rex was there as well. We were hovering over the beach, the tree line giving wayto a sheer drop onto the beach. The t-rex took one last tranq to the face before thebest animation ever! it did its falling down unconcious animation the moment it felloff the cliff. I found it to be so perfect!



http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=481423929

[WildClaw]

I also had another story about being on the mountain and....welll let this picture set in for you.



http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=481426083

[Ryzz]

got shot in the ass by the other half

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=481015126


also took down a trike with a pack of 30 angry dodos

[Kit Sokudo]

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=480595043
Trex....wat r u doin? Trex STAPH!

[Miarije]

Short story: I was still kind off new at this game, and was a bit afraid to go into the water. So I very carefully swam towards a supply crate en looted it. When I turned around to swim back, there was a piranha right in my face about to attack me. He scared the ♥♥♥♥ out of me.. quite literally. No, seriously, the exact moment I got spooked, a nice little message popped up saying "you defecated". Good job me..

[Drunk In Space]

I was bumbling around in the dark chopping trees, when one of the 'trees' turned out to be a bronto's leg. Didn't end well.

[Jinawee]

My husband was testing the parachutes one day since he keeps getting his pteranodons killed. He flew up on his mount, hovering in the air high above our dinosaur pen, and then hopped off. He apparently did not activate the parachute in time (we're still not sure how it works, it rarely ever saves your life), and he fell to his death. Since some of the animals in the pen were on neutral and he took damage, they immediately went and ate his corpse. I guess they thought he attacked himself?

[di eshor ribly]

A tribemate and I were testing out the Argentavis' ability to pick people up and the effectiveness of parachutes a few weeks back. All was going well at first, he picked me up, flew up to the game's "ceiling", and released me. I popped the chute and floated gracefully across half of the map. As I was about to descend towards ground level I realized I was going to land on top of a bronto, which I thought would be really neat. 20 feet up from it's back the game finished rendering the spino's dorsal ridge. "Oh, this is gonna suck...." *chomp*

[Baron O' Beef Dip]

xDDD Awesome.
Here's another one: My tribe and I were mining in one of the caves when my friend died. After that he was having computer problems so he wouldn't be able to get back to his body in time. So I picked him up and drug him all the way back to our base. When I got there one of the carnos we tamed charged at me and ate my friends body.

[Buster]

Necromancy powers activate!

Anyways a short story, I had set all my brontos on wander for a test to see how far they wandered, left for a quick trip to get thatch and came back to a bronto orgy, all four were mating and laid fertilized eggs, both eggs are in the fridge until I am ready, not to mention wandering freely for these slow animals is now forbidden. :p

[Oana]

one day i promised a friend i would craft a couple of saddles for him. I was pretty busy so i fast travelled back to base, jumped on one of my pteras (low level) and flew to the other side of the map (1 stopover for stamina) and made his saddles. I hadn't taken any gear or weapons with me as it was supposed to be a quick trip. On the stopover on my way back (when we still had to jump off to gain stamina) i got attacked by a pack of scorpions and passed out.. then killed. I spawned back at base, armed myself and took another ptera to find my old ptera. I got close when i saw an alpha raptor. i went to tell my friend because he could kill it to level his new dino.. but i accidentally dismounted.. i got my shotgun out and tried to kill the alpha whilst calling my bird. Oneshot the bird in the face. then got killed by the alpha..

[irondune]

1. i fly pteranodon
2. i see carno
3. i accidentily dismount
4. carno chomps me
5.pteranodon kills carno, i live yay
6. i walk back to ptera to find out there were TWO carnos.

[impr0vise]

So, I had just died in a raid and they had destroyed my bed, so I spawned back on the beach, and these random guys from the same tribe started chasing after me, trying to knock me out with clubs. I did the logical thing and strafed them without attacking. After a while of doing this, they knocked each other unconscious. Then I beat their unconscious bodies slowly to death.

[Kingangus]

Taming a Giga

on a mountain

Ontop of a tall rock

All is going well

7th tranq in

He glitched and climb up the rock

He bit once

ONCE

and broke all of my riot armor and sent me flying down the mountain

Land with barely any hp

call my bird

Giga is still chasing me

Bird is faster than giga

(;

gtfo of there and never see the giga again

I praise the sun for letting me live another day