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2. If your friend is attempting to play with adjusted/changed settings and mods, have your friend revert to default settings and no mod use and test access. If you can get on at that point, its either the choices of settings, mods, or both in some capacity causing the issues.
I definitely think it’s something to do with the ports, we’ve tried opening them on the firewall, Googling it etc but it doesn’t seem to work. Do you know how port forwarding works or have a good guide? We are kinda at our wits end in trying to get this to work which sucks
undo whatever you did on the firewall. ark uses upnp passthrough, meaning once you allow ark to connect to the internet through the firewall, that's all you need to do on your computer's end.
your issue is with your router. you have to configure the router, not your firewall. just make sure shootergame.exe is on your allowed application list and you're fine.
we've honestly done everything and nothing has fixed it
https://portforward.com/
I'm assuming your friend can join the dedicated server just fine. Are they using the exact same method to connect that you are? If not, they should. If so, and you're using Steam to connect, first make sure that you're typing exactly what your friend types.
Sometimes the Steam method can be finicky and if I want to be absolutely certain that a server is publicly visible/accessible or not, I use https://www.battlemetrics.com/servers/ark. Only the name of the server is required to see it (if the name of the server is in red letters, it's offline or otherwise not available for outside access). In my experience, it's usually a problem that only the server operator can cure.
Edited Note: If the server does show up there, use battlemetrics to connect to it. If you can't, the problem may be with your system or something else you're doing wrong. Although it could be that the server operator enabled whitelists but didn't properly add you to it or passwords, and you have the password wrong. When operating servers, I've made the same mistakes myself.
thank you though we will try this!
Are you sure your friend has the proper ports forwarded to the correct computer? You want to put a static ip on the server computer and then forward the ports used for the server to that computer.
There could be other reasons, but if the server isn't showing up on battlemetrics, that's the most likely place to start.
Once the server shows up there, that problem will have been cured, but if you still can't connect to it, the problem is then most likely a client/server mismatch, i.e., both the server and your client need to be using the same Ark version, as well as mods.