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It can take anywhere from 2min-6min for the server to timeout your "attempted" connection and then you can connect. You don't need restart ARK, just wait, get a cup a coffee or watch half dozen tiktoks and then re-try.
If it takes longer than 6 minutes this could be a problem with the server being overloaded. Generally I'm referring to the physical hardware being overtaxed which is frequent issue with some cloud hosting providers who over provision their equipment.
I had this problem after a gfx card crash (I was booting up another game while mods were loading). There was also a server side z-version (x.y.z) update available which I hadn't done, which I did NOT reboot my server for (it takes 250 - 350 seconds...)
I solved this problem by fully exiting steam and starting it up again, and making sure steam was online.
IMHO, this error stems from an anti piracy measure built into the game. Ark is so paranoid about piracy that it spoils the game for those who've spent 100+ EUR on it, and that is...
mildly infuriating.