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and as of about 2hrs ago all the servers shut then reopened booting heaps of ppl... some servers have a lock on them for some reason and im havin issues logging into official pve with it saying that the server is "locked"
Finding servers on the in game server list:
This issue is with the rather antiquated server listing system for the game in conjunction with how steam manages it too. There really isnt anything you can do within steam.
However, most players use the battlemetrics website to find and connect to servers via its connect button.
Your friends unofficial server:
However you mention attempting to connect to modded servers. There are a few things you need to keep in mind with this:
1. If its your first time to connect to such a server and you do not have the mods already, it will trigger a mod download from steams workshop and auto subscribe you to the mod. This takes time and during such you will time out or disconnect from the server.
So I recommend at that stage to wait for the mod to finish downloading as you watch it from the download menu. Once done, attempt to reconnect to the server and it will then trigger the next mod to download and rinse and repeat the process.
Alternatively if you know every single mod, you can opt to subscribe to them directly from the steam workshop and then connect to the server, speeding up the process to a certain degree.
2. Modded servers do not automatically(necessarily) update mods as an update comes out(mod makers update at all hours of the day or night is why). Thus its not uncommon, especially on servers with tons of mods, that a mod mismatch can occur and you cannot connect to a server if you have the latest version of any of the mods and the server itself does not. You'll have to wait til the owner updates accordingly.
3. With Ark having such a robust modded content section of the steam workshop, unfortunately there are mods that are broken, abandoned, cause bad interactions with other mods etc. In addition to this, failing to load mods in specific order by a server (ie owner didnt do it right) in some cases can also be a problem. In those instances the server essentially can crash and you'll get typically server not responding/failed to disconnect.
4. If a player makes a server from their own comp and has firewalls or other similar things blocking or inappropriately set, that'll also prevent access.
5. If a server owner sets a white list requirement play, you cannot access the server and get failure messages or just pop back to the menu screen if the owner hasnt added your steam id to the white list.
and the list of issues goes on.
Discerning what is exactly at the root cause of your friends server isnt clear yet at this point.
If you can find their server on battlemetrics but its showing failure to query it means its a server side issue.
If you cannot connect to official servers, then you've an issue with either:
1. Your internet provider/country(as some do) blocking access.
2. Your router's firewall
3. Your computer's firewall.
4. Webroot (Dont use it)
5. Other virus checkers.
If you just have to refresh frequently to see servers in the ingame list:
1. That's just steam's server network issues. Use Battlemetrics to connect, Steam's View menu for servers etc and not the ingame one. Many do not use the in game system to see servers/connect/find em either.
With your friend's server:
If your friend added your steam ID as an admin AND -none- of the 1-5 possibilities match from above, its possible he mistakenly blacklisted you. I suggest having him remove your id from admin status and have him double check that he's not mistakenly banned you or similar.
However, Im inclined at this point to think its your comp settings/programs, router or provider etcl since blanket'dly you cant access any server what so ever.
Good luck to you.