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Regrettably, I got stuck in a bit of a learned experience loop, and didn't even think of luring those critters beyond the portal.
I shall retire now to the room of penance and lash myself with an awl; it's all I can do, given that my intellectual acumen in no way approaches yours. Mistakes, thought patterns--these things do not happen in Dark Souls--there are only the erudite, and the ever-drooling masses who depend upon the former.
TL;DR: Durrr, thanks, I already felt stupid enough as it was, but your insistence upon driving the point home to salve your personal egotism has had the effect of relieving me of any sense of shame I might have felt. So long as there are living representations of Comic Book Shop Guy in the world, I shall find solace in knowing that I am not, at least, you.