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He shows real death counter.
i wiped all my data just to be sure, and built a new char from scrap just to see the counter. i'll check later if i can see white signs. thank you for patience and support. both of you.
If you're offline and is says 0, that means you haven't died yet. Offline only shows death counter specific to each character you load. So if you load a different save with 4 deaths, it will say 4. Global counter is online only.
Edit: I noticed that it takes a while, before i can see all the stuff on the floor. sometimes i need to reload the game to make them pop up
EDIT2: i just needed to open my NAT :facepalm:
Thanks everybody, gonna close the topic
Basically, if things don't seem to be working properly in multiplayer, like summon signs not showing up, friends not being able to see your summon sign even though you are 100% primed for online, unable to see bloodstains or messages, stuff like that COULD mean you are banned. Problem is, if you have any closed ports that are specific to Dark Souls II's online usage, you could just be blocking yourself from playing online because of specific firewall settings and then you will have the same problems AS IF you are banned. Bloody hell.
Best case scenario would be to email Bandai, because not only they can tell you if you are banned, they can also help you fix any technical issues that may be barring your online experience from happening, assuming you aren't banned.
If you still see bloodstains and signs but no summon signs your not banned, its just the 7 year old game just being dead as usual no worries.